Tree sonata

It was not intended to be a joke, but his ramblings were not to be believed. Ramblings that had lost him his wife, son, home and now, almost certainly, his life.

Cold was the water they had pushed in front of him, unpalatable as the grey, dirty rain thudding silently against the bulletproof glass that kept the truth from their ears. He sipped at the re-cycled muck, trying to move the stone that was once again lodged in his chest. Would these people never realise the fatality of ignorance?

"And the trees are telling you this?" sneered a Savile Row pinstripe.

He studied their mean suits and their lying faces, wondering where they kept the velvet blindfolds. Even today they still gave reverent service to the lip, candyfloss words that satisfied the dim, and calmed the bleeding hearted. No one wanted truth to be served on a cold plate.

The rain never stopped now. A constant, miserable echo of life unsupported. As the world came undone, he had fled. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide from the man-made holocaust that now squatted on a surprised world . The music had stopped, but for three years he had nurtured these last remaining trees, appointing himself shepherd to a flock whose feet were already beset by the rot of humanity.

Now the earth was audibly crying, a last lament for stupidity, tears for wanton disregard. He picked up his instrument for one last sonata.

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(Photo art by ParkeHarrison)

Appalling, isn't it?

Rock Beach. Absolutely awful.
It ought to be ashamed of itself - failing miserably to attract a glut of beach umbrellas, deckchairs and screaming children. I blame the golden sand and bluey-green sea. This beach thinks it's somewhere foreign rather than hanging off the end of England - stupid beach.

Mad Matt - Hedge Defender!

Matt is Welsh but is forgiven because he makes me laugh with his very clever and exciting places in which to keep words - which is HERE. He is also master of the very funky Turboart where you can now buy the t-shirt.

He says....

"I've attached a picture of me in a most pink and camp hat. I hope it gives people the wrong impression :P "

1.Why did you start blogging?
I'd written a column for a time and after stopping had missed writing things for the imagined audience I pretended I had. Mostly then because other friends in the area were, and because I felt I required some sort of web presence that didn't involve paying for hosting and/or web design. (imaginary friends syndrome?)

2.When will you stop?
I can't particularly imagine I will, to be honest. If someone pays me to write elsewhere and with a similar frequency I might. I'm quite fickle, and can be easily led by something I think might be more fun. (waving)

3.What is your favourite kind of post to write?
I think... well. I suppose I write a mixture of confessional nonsense and/or surreal anecdotes, or otherwise. I don't have a favourite per se - the way I write blog posts is simply the way I write blog posts. I'm fond of my running themes though - Micheal (and yes, it's spelled that way), the turbodictionary, and now Turbo Art. (link above - greedy plugger)

4.Give some examples of the diverse range of links on your blogs(lit, arty,funny, stupid etc) what do you mean they're not diverse?
I've got the big guns in there - The Onion, Tom Reynolds, GOB and so on. But otherwise... friends, literary blogs like the ones you lovely lot write, people who seem to have a staggeringly well-informed interest in Information Technology, journalists, musician friends, the odd strange website.

5.You can have five bloggers over for tea and cakes who would you choose?
Hm. I'm slightly too ashamed of my house to invite them for tea and cakes, but probably I'd invite my old uni chums that blog because it's rare that any of us are in the same city these days. I'd like to meet some of the literary folk I've stumbled across online too. (lit folk huh?)

6.You have the power to blow up one blog. Who?

There are a horrible number of far-right webrings that I'd like to see the back of, but I kind of hope that people can see for themselves that they all spew forth the most tremendous amount of balls. I'd possibly like to blow up a good proportion of the self-indulgent crap that some idiots seem to spout, but that'd also contravene my views on free speech. (think you speak for many of us!)

7.What colour underwear are you wearing?
Black. (boring!)

Cornwall yawns...

...stretches, and starts to wake up from its winter hibernation.
The photo (courtesy of cornwallcam) is of Polperro. The cliff path winds around a small headland which played quite a large part in Coven of One.

Cailleach

Here's Cailleach, an oirish beaut with a smart line in poetry. Babs blogs HERE.

1.Why did you start blogging?
Because an OU friend told me about it and I thought it would be a good way of weaning myself off the OU message boards. (and has it worked?)

2.When will you stop?
Gosh, I can't foresee giving it up just yet - I enjoy the company of all the other bloggers I've met!

3.What is your favourite kind of post to write?
One that is humourous. I've found that they tend to be about ordinary everyday life in our house! (fun time feckers!)

4.Give some examples of the diverse of the range of links on your blogs.
http://deconstructivewasteland.blogspot.com/ - poet at uni in Sheffield
http://lifeinthepub2.blogspot.com/ - blogger in the pub
http://www.jonnybillericay.blogspot.com/ - very funny well written blog
http://journal.davidbyrne.com/ - Used to be well into Talking Heads - this guy is interesting

5.You can have five bloggers over for tea and cakes – who would you choose?
Inner Minx
Debi Alper
Frank Wilson
Ms Baroque
Hedgie

6.You have the power to blow up one blog – who?
I wouldn't do that, but if you tempted me... I'm sure President Bush has one ;) (heh)

7.What colour underwear are you wearing?
Red and white - fifties inspired, with frills on the side! (a girl after my own knicker drawer)

News at home

Headline.
Small Fecker scores winning goal in local football semi-final - THE HOUSE ERUPTS!!



Other news.

The witch is abed - she was heard muttering...

"There is evidence that I have been poisoned by the Gin Club. I am not long for this world"

(smart comments are not welcomed)
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It is a truth universally acknowledged that people today are quite mad.

In order to shift more copies of a deluxe collection of Jane Austen's works, the publisher, in her infinite wisdom, has decided to give her a makeover!

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Helen Trayler says: "We’ve given her a bit of a makeover, with make-up and some hair extensions and removed her nightcap. Now she looks great — as if she’s just walked out of a salon.”
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I am horrified - what's next - double D cups for the Bronte's, a nose job for Dickens, and a spray tan for the rest? This is complete tosh.
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Ms Trayler said: “Virginia Woolf wasn’t much of a looker. I’m also considering making over George Eliot, who was frumpy, and William Wordsworth, who was pretty hideous. Most poets were really unattractive, with the one exception being Tennyson, who has wonderful bone structure.”
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Well, I'm glad Tennyson escapes, shame about the rest of the munters.
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Read the whole article at Timesonline HERE - grrrrrrr.

Here come the nearly French!

Shameless Words

Based in Lyon, Seamus Kearney is a writer, poet, painter, photographer and pianist (yeh, one of those talenty people). He blogs HERE and today he is pinky purple!
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1) Why did you start blogging?


I started blogging to connect with other creative writers living a similar isolated existence. It's also a little bit of self-promotion I suppose; one never knows who might be reading (hence the name Shameless) but that is so way down the list now. (heh - you came out!)

2) When will you stop?


When I receive more than three death threats in one day or when I am too busy doing book signing tours around the world, darling! :) (of course)

3) What is you favourite kind of post to write?


I love writing something that is surprising and funny, but once you've fired them all off they are in short supply! (yours don't seem to be)

4) Give some examples of the diverse range of links on your blogs (lit, arty, funny, stupid etc) – what do you mean they're not diverse?


Most of my links are connected to writing, but they are diverse in terms of age, published/unpublished, race, location, gender, eccentric/straight-laced, experimental/traditional. (straight-laced, that would be me then!)

5) You can have five bloggers over for tea and cakes – who would you choose?


You Minxy, Debi Alper, L.M. Noonan, Kay (As It Happens) and Cate Sweeney.

6) You have the power to blow up one blog – who?


Miss Snark, the literary agent. (whoo hoo, I'll get me balaclava)

7) What colour underwear are you wearing?


Green for St Patrick's Day! ( I asked him last week, okay.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Verilion



This foxy chick is Verilion - she wanders about a bit in Paris and blogs HERE about writing and her mad life in various parts of the globe!
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1.Why did you start blogging?
Eh I was going to write collaboratively with a friend, so I decided to set up a blog so that we could do that but it never got off the ground and there was this empty blog... so I eventually I just shoved things up there.
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2.When will you stop?
Eh ... why do you want me to? ( ;
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3.What is your favourite kind of post to write?
Yikes. The ones that just seem to pour out and get the most comments (it’s not to massage my own ego honestly!)
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4.Give some examples of the diverse range of links on your blogs (lit, arty, funny, stupid etc) – what do you mean they're not diverse?
Well there are loads of writery blogs of some sort. There are some funny ones like The DailyNooz, Confusious Trevakis, Angriest Man etc. There’s the couple who have set up the book shop and recently I discovered Apprentice the photographer (and bloody good writer), I sland Monkey isn’t so regular but he’s quite artsy and thoughtful.
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5.You can have five bloggers over for tea and cakes – who would you choose?
ONLY FIVE! You of course Minx, Shameless, Nikki and Mark (they only count as one because they both blog on Mostly Books) so I could pick their brains about setting up a book shop, ah... Apprentice (at My Gap Year) and Atyllah so she can show me how to teleport! But if we wore big skirts (even though that is a rare occurance in my neck of the woods) maybe we could sneak in quite a few more.
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6.You have the power to blow up one blog – who?
Now I’m not being all saintly or anything, but if I don’t like the blog I don’t read it, so I don’t know. But as I have the power I would look for someone who was hateful and using the internet to spread xenophobic evil messages and blow them up so that we couldn’t even happen upon that blog by accident. Do you think Dubya has a blog? (very apt answer considering yesterdays post)

7.What colour underwear are you wearing?
Lilac (french of course?)


(This first bank of 'interviews' are with bloggers who I first connected with last year - I will be stalking the rest as time goes on!)

Blog nasties

We all complain about what's on TV. There is a simple answer - it's called the 'off' switch - an under-used device that should be employed far more than it is. The same goes for blogging.
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In the last week I have come across two blogs, who for one reason or another, mostly unfathomable, have been 'attacked' by someone in their comments box. Mutley was a victim to this person, who left giant sized repetitive comments all because he was a commenter on another blog. Mutley's blog itself is not for the faint at heart, with its mixture of off-the-wall rude humour, but why do some people behave like this?
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A while ago I came under the same sort of attack. My blog rapist started with a few nasty comments on the blog and then turned his attentions to violating my email inbox night and day. I was gallantly supported by my fellow bloggers (HERE) through a nasty couple of weeks but I still do not understand what make these cowards behave in such a way.
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If you don't agree with the content of a blog - then stay away.
This is the one place where there is still free speech - Big Brother has not poked his nose in, and although there are some very perverted blogs out there, mostly they die a death, or are flagged by the blogging community. You may not agree with the content of a post, or that of the blog itself, but surely we are adult enough to have intelligent debate about our difference of opinion.

My own experience shook me up a little, made me wiser about this blog thing - it also taught me how to put padlocks on me emails.
The only consolation that came out of the whole nasty episode was that my attacker very often called me a 'cnut' - the dyslexic tawt!

Debi Alper and John Ahearn (they both need some undies - can you help?)

Debi blogs HERE at Debi Alper - with a mix of life as a published author, human interest and human horror. She's gorgeous!
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1.Why did you start blogging?
Because I was told to by the wonderful friend who set up my website. She told me having a blog would keep my site fresh ... She didn't tell me it would eat up my life ... (or that you were going to have a ball, or that you would meet some, umm, interesting characters)
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2.When will you stop?
More like 'why would I stop?' (you dare)
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3.What is your favourite kind of post to write?
Little pithy ones. Though I also like the long pissy ones ....
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4.Give some examples of the diverse range of links on your blogs (lit, arty, funny, stupid etc) – what do you mean they're not diverse?
Examples? Do I have to do everything around here? Look - no one needs to take my word for it that they're diverse and fab. Just click the links.

5.You can have five bloggers over for tea and cakes – who would you choose?
Oh - only 5? I'm better with small groups but could it be 5 a week for several weeks? OK - for the first week, your gorgeous self of course, Skint, Melony, Shameless & Cailleach. But then I see Mel all the time in Real Life so maybe the Carver instead ... Or Atyllah ... Or Marie ... Or whoever promises the best cakes ... (well, that's me out - cakeless)
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6.You have the power to blow up one blog – who?
A very naughty question that I refuse to answer. (mail me)
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7.What colour underwear are you wearing?
What's 'underwear'? (oh dear)

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John T Ahearn

John blogs HERE at Wordcarving. He is a poet, writer, artist and fiddler of all things photographic. He is Merkan, but is forgiven as he writes some of the smartest poetry in the Blogworld.

1. Why did you start blogging?

I was forced into it by a witch. I still don't quite know how it happened. (lies)

2. When will you stop?

When the spell is broken, or I turn into a frog, whichever is first. (you are not a frog - you is Merkan)

3. What is your favourite kind of post to write?

I don't write posts, only poems. My favorite kinds are the ones that don't make me chew my nails and lose sleep. I'm hoping for one of those soon...

4. Give some examples of the diverse range of links on your blogroll (lit, arty, funny, stupid etc) – what do you mean they're not diverse?

I do have a diversity of links, some funny, some arty, some lit. Mostly, they're blogs I like to read, written by people I like. I have some favorite stupid ones too, but those are best not inflicted on others. (why not?)

5. You can have five bloggers over for tea and cakes – who would you choose?

Pundy, Minx, Debi, Skint, Shameless, in discovery order--but fuck the tea; it seems like a drinking crowd. Of course, all would be welcome. (Clynelish anyone?)

6. You have the power to blow up one blog – who?

Can't allow myself to think in that direction--where would one stop?

7. What colour underwear are you wearing?

I'm not wearing any. (this is worrying, you saucy pair - have I missed something, is there a new law against covering one's bits?)

Ostara

Yep, it's that time again, when Pagan's all over the world are running around making love to everything in sight!
It's a gorgeous time of year - a time for renewal, the conception of new plans, thoughts, ideas and a large dose of rumpy- pumpy!
Spring is here - do something new today, and if not then just read me next interview below.......

De Wreck Jones

Mad as it is, Derec is me publisher. He blogs HERE under the name of Skintwriter. When I first came across him he was eating bread in the middle of the night and earned himself the nickname of 'Hovis Gobbler' (apart from others, which are far too rude to mention).
Derec writes plays, prose and poetry, paints and observes life in his own inimitable style!
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1.Why did you start blogging?
to promote myself as a writer (and he does - have you read The Three Bears?)



2.When will you stop?
don't know, I think about stopping every day (and leave us alone? Oh no!)



3.What is your favourite kind of post to write?
probably reportage style writing but also enjoy posting examples of my creative writing



4.Give some examples of the diverse range of links on your blogroll (lit, arty, funny, stupid etc) – what do you mean they're not diverse?
There are so many diverse links on my blogroll and they are all there for a reason, couldn't possibly highlight any particular one



5.You can have five bloggers over for tea and cakes – who would you choose?
Again, can't possibly choose, except maybe moby (http://www.moby.com/journal) he is an internationally successful musician yet he is so unpretentious and humble and caring (and he'd appreciate my vegan chocolate muffins)



6.You have the power to blow up one blog – who?
only one? (that's my boy)



7.What colour underwear are you wearing?
a banana on a bicycle

Happy Blogday to, umm, well, me really!

Well, it started at the beginning, as most blogs do, and suddenly I'm a year down the line. A whole year of bloggage!
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I don't want to bore you with all the posts I looked through last night (351!!!) but just to say that the red trollop below elicited a massive number of hits for the poem Flirt......
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....and this post sort of says it all......amazing that Skint even thought of publishing me after this!

load of late night night crap (May 06)
I thought I was droink but now I'm not so sure. Not sure I should be in here but evryone else is asleep so I thought I'd write a post with no subject and see what happens.. Hah!
Oh yes I was gong to talk about drunk, oh look up there it's droink, that's better. Oh fuckj.maybe this is bad idea diazapam and chardonnay, after a very scientific experiment don't mix, no they don't.
Oh no, not depression, I can hear you you know, wtf was that 'you you' business, no not depressed .I've got a virus in my shoulder- that makes sense then, you stupid twat.The witch doctor, him give me diazapam to relax shoulder, and I am relaxed....all over, so relaxed that i've just fallen up steps and giddled on the dorrstep for twenty minutes. Got pissed on account of being an exemplary practice during ofsted, should that be carpitals? Yes numpty.am not longer an exemplary of anything (ho jesus the italians have invaded). Yess, got pissed and whipped the awful cow with my acid tongue but after a boat race with baileys, my legs lost the will to live so I come home.
I 'm thinking about sausages which is stranger than starange cos I really don't eat meat. Well none from the kebab shop anyway because you never know whats in them do you. What kind of animal comes in a roll anyway - there's probably some wag out there that will tell me the answer to this problem but I'm off for a sausage now and will reap the rewards of my drug ccktail in the morning. Love evry single one of you utterluy and completely.


....just surprised you're still all here! Thanks.

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(To celebrate my Blogday I asked some bloggers to take part in an interview. Below is my first tribute to one my fellow bloggers - heh)

An interview with Pundy of the Pundyhouse

Pundy's blog is a wonderful mix of humour and humility. He forgets to look in his comments box sometimes, but is forgiven because he has hosted some of the most wonderful blogparties known on the web - just a shame he wasn't there!.

1. Why did you start blogging?

To make connections with some like-minded aspiring writers. To scream into the void. (and he does - frequently!)

2. When will you stop?

Tomorrow.

3 . What is your favourite kind of post to write?

Something humorous that takes an oblique look at life. Oh, and it has to be about me, naturally. (who else?)

4. Give some examples of the diverse range of links on your blog.

Nope. I've just checked and they're all about pretty much the same thing. Writing and wanting to be a writer. (he writes, he's good - read A Half Life of One)

5. You can have five bloggers over for tea and cakes - who would you choose?

No one for tea and cakes. But for drinks and cakes I would choose the following:

a Maxine at Petrona. She sounds like she might be intelligent and interesting.
b John Baker. Because he is intelligent and interesting.
c John Ahearn. Because I'm curious to see if he's as crazy as he sounds and, more importantly, he likes a good drink.
d Cailleach. She's Irish right? She must like a good drink.
e The Minx. Because someone's got to serve the drinks. (oh, thanks!)

6. You have the power to blow up one blog - who?

I'm not a violent person and I believe in free speech so I'm afraid the answer is no-one. (lying here!)

7. What colour underwear are you wearing?

Let me check on this and I'll get back to you. (he's too shy to tell you that they are patterned all over with union jack's)

Pundy blogs HERE

Coven of One has got wings!

Me book has taken flight!

Bookcrossing , a network dedicated to sending books around the world, has set Coven free. It is an adventure that may be fraught with hideous danger - being left on a park bench, the back of a taxi, or in the precarious hands of Royal Snail Mail.
Who knows where it will end up, who will read it, love it, hate it, or use it for a firelighter - ahhhh!

Dorcas Fleming, you're on your own!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other news

Go HERE to read a great take on the publishing industry

and....

tomorrow is a very SPECIAL DAY - I will be celebrating this SPECIAL DAY with some, umm, interviews with some very err, discerning bloggers!

Mum

My mum didn't give birth to me. I arrived conveniently on the door step six weeks after my illegitimate entrance into this world.
For thirty-eight years I gave her headaches, happiness, tears, laughter, worry and sadness, as only a child can do. All she took from it was love.
We had a great relationship. She was small, a bit feisty and we shared a love of 'off the wall' humour and daft conversations. The only thing we never agreed on was her unreasonable passion for football.
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In 2002, she quickly followed my dad to the otherworld and made me an orphan. On her last day in this world we had a conversation that went something like this...

"You're going to sneak out the back door, aren't you?"

"Of course. I don't want you here when I go" she said.

"Mum!"

"Don't argue, I'm your mum and I always will be."

"I know."

"Now listen. You're a little shit, I love you, now bugger off."


She buggered off that night, and not long after I started writing. Funny the things that a localised apocalypse can bring.



(the roses above are called 'My Mum' - I have some in my garden)

Gallerie de blog

Oh come on, it could be fun! Get yer Microsoft Paints out and send me a self portrait of yer blogging self (innerminx at googlemail dot com). It only takes one minute - no cheating!

Here's Canterbury Soul - waving!

Verilion says: God what have you started Kate! I have to confess that I didn’t spend a minute on this. I cheated cheated cheated... HE HE. Good fun though.

Here is I.

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Capturing the truth

Inspired by Matthew's mad Turbo-art, I suggested to the children that I work with that we could try it.


We used Microsoft Paint on a six-foot Smart Board. They use a finger instead of a mouse. In one minute this is what they produced.


So don't ever tell me that....
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...hair has to be attached.....
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..or that a butterfly can't have a willy, or two...

...or that snakes don't have a 'stinger'...

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...or that pigs don't use spoons and forks....

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...or that the Head of Centre doesn't really look like this!

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Oh grow up!

They grow in nets of safety
cocooned in wired homes
lost the need
to fight and bleed
for rights a child owns
We grew in nets of safety
danger never seen
we swung the bat
to kill a rat
and balanced on the beam, that

stretched across the russet barn
its floor a rotten mess
hide and seek
unmeasured call
left us with a guess,
of who was up the apple tree,
branches lightening scored
with broken limbs collected
from children who weren’t bored.

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I give you ....Turbo Art

The Mad Hedgedefender is doing something weird. It appears he has a talent for the new art rage - 'One Minute Wonder'.



Go HERE with a suggestion for him and very speedily (sort of) a wondrous image of your request will pop up on the blog. Tis magick I tell you.



Here is mine.....Minx - a cat ( apparently!).
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Ever have one of those days.....

...when you just have to open yer mouth and scream?

Inner Demon - gettin' deep down and dirrrty!

Julia Buckley's Deep Down and Dirty Meme

1. Biggest fear: popping me clogs before I've finished giving you the gossip about..........

2. Most meglomanical ambition: ... You should be able to get your nails done on the national health. Politicians should be rounded up and herded over a cliff and anyone who uses the word 'celebrity' should be disemboweled - publicly.

3. When you’re talking to your boss, you’re usually thinking about: ...the need for serious scaffolding when you get to a certain age, the advantages of investing in large knickers and the relief that I don't have the burden of THAT hair.

4. Most disgusting habit: ...smokin', swearin' and spittin' - sometimes even together.

5. Criteria for judging other people: ...Please me, or depart.

6. How do you measure up? -- How rude! I would rather eat pins than disclose this information.

7. What do you think when you see a fat person eating fast food?: ...Oh look. There is a McPlump person, who has been eating McFattening food. They might like to go on a McDiet and eat McLess food because then there would no money going into the McSupersize bank of McFucking McBurgertwats.

8. How about when you see thin person smoking?: --Umm, err, well, that's probably me, so we'll say no more about it!

9. When you meet someone of the same gender who’s more attractive than you, inside you think: ...Dig her eyes out with a spoon, pour wax in her hair, shave her eyebrows off and then let's see who is the fairest of them all!

10. When you meet someone of the opposite gender who’s less attractive than you, inside you think: ...Oh yurk, fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

11. The last lie you told was: ...9 & 10, oh and 1 and maybe 2, 6, 5, not forgetting 7 and all the others - compulsive liar, me!

12. Tell us about the time you read someone’s diary/hacked into their emails/went through their stuff: ... I do this all the time. Are you telling me it's wrong?

13. You know that person who you’re secretly jealous of - and there’s a part of you, that you can’t quite suppress, that wishes they would, just for once, get to taste a bit of your luck? .Tell us what you hate about them – go on let it all out: ...I don't do jealousy - it is a waste of energy and I have already disposed of any unwanted hangers-on!

14. The most expensive thing you’ve ever stolen was: Nicking things of value is not fun. Once ate a £2.50 Toblerone bar in a very expensive hotel room, and replaced it for an identical one that cost 35p. You have no idea how good that chocolate tasted!!

15. Even though all this is true, you’re still a really good person because…I love everyone, even the small, ugly ones. I adore little fluffy things and only ever eat one at a time. I would also like world peas.

Thanks Atyllah - how I love a meme!

Tag yourself, if you wish - a bit of truth never hurt anyone!

Would you care for a starter, madam?

The land held every promise of its morbid title. The shivers that ran through spines were enough to make the boat quiver in the dullness of the dawn. The Grey Lands were indeed the greyest she had ever seen and appeared as though every colour of the spectrum had been filtered out by the stony clouds above. It was more than a depressing sight.
They came to rest in the still, leaden waters. The rowing boat touched the water lightly and her oarsmen waited patiently for their passenger to step aboard.
The lament in her going had started over an hour ago and the keening had since built to an almost unbearable level. Her ears would certainly not miss their kin but her heart would cry as though it had been ripped from her breast. She bit the inside of an already sore cheek determined to show no sign of the fears that had swept through the crew as they had got their first glimpse of land. This land.
A rope-calloused hand guided her gently into the slight sway of the smaller boat and the lament grew to a funereal wail.
‘Hush now, I do not go to my death’ she said over her shoulder.
The dirge had continued at a more acceptable level and the sound had followed her to the shallow water where the waves were now licking at the drab shore.
She adjusted the large leather back sack and nodded to the crew. The icy water cut deep to the bone but she proceeded with grace and dignity to the edge where she stood with her back to the sea.
She heard the oarsmen’s hands slap against their thighs at the end of the traditional salute and the boat was turned. Every sinew in her body strained, every muscle ached, to catch one last look at her people, but tradition must be upheld. She belonged to this land now and she must learn its ways, its history, its future, and its people. She must become.

***

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Ooh, starters, openings, beginnings - tricky bloody things.
The is the opening few lines of a novel that has barely got past the fourth chapter. I have been wondering lately what stopped it before I really got into stride.
Is it the starter? I think this must be as important to the writer as it is to the reader. I rarely buy a book where I have not had a sneaky peek at the first chapter, but I quite like this one and the story promises to be an exciting write.
I have quite a few stashed away like this. The plot for these, (as much as I ever do) is laid out in my head and my haphazard writing technique is no different than for those that have made it to the finish post.
So, is it the beginning that has failed to spur it onwards, or is it just not the right time for this one?

Sleeping cats lie

You think I'm sleeping. Heh.

I am, at present, planning my latest outrage.

You will have forgotten about that vole by tonight. Yes, I watched you chasing the stupid thing around the kitchen. I could not be bothered to finish it off - so much more fun to watch you trying to throw a towel over it, only to find that it had died just at the point of rescue.

I was annoyed anyway. I bring you these presents, show my love for you, and you act as if I have committed some kind of crime. I'll do the same tomorrow - will you never learn?



You pretend to understand every word I say but as soon as I tell you I need food you produce a flea comb. I hate that, and I don't have fleas. Do you know how much care I take over my appearance? I spent hours and hours grooming this perfect body and I go to untold lengths to show your guests how clean I am in the bottom department. Some thanks I get for it.



Let's also get another thing straight. Your lap is there for me as I want it, as are the kitchen worktops, the fat cushion in the front room, the chair you have just warmed up and your bed is definitely designed for three. Maybe you could tell him to sleep downstairs and then there would be no problem.

By the way, could you also have a word with him. I am not 'a black rat' and neither, according to you, am I 'mummy's precious darling'. I am a predator, a vicious killer, one whisker away from feral, one tummy tickle away from leaving you all to answer the the call of the wild.



Now, leave me to my plotting. I will require a headscratch in about an hour but until then you can make yourself scarce.

Handbags at dawn - a bit of a girly post

An article I read recently said 'What is in your handbag can say so much about you'.

Oh dear.

Apart from the essentials of purse, keys, phone, chequebook......

A screwdriver (don't ask)
A notebook that Debi gave me
A wiggly fish pen
Baccy bag
A piece of Blu-tack
A bag of crisps
Two teaspoons (yes, I know)
A bottle of correction fluid
Two pendants and one earring (thought I'd lost that)
Purple ribbons
A piece of rose quartz
A brush off me vacuum cleaner (that's where it went!)
A make-up bag with a lipstick, perfume and a paperclip (?)
Six lego bricks
Half a sandwich (yesterdays lunch - so that's okay)
Three lighters - one in use, one as a spare, and one in case I lose the other two.
Box of painkillers
Toothbrush and paste
Lady things rattling around in the bottom and a bit of fluff (essential).

There is more, but I can't go on - I am too embarrassed.
WHAT DOES THIS SAY?
Maybe I should downsize, or change me name to Klepto Kate?

PEE ESS - don't forget to attend the party (err, blognapping) over at the Wordcarver - tradition states that anyone who goes on holiday has a party held for them on the abandoned blog - go!

You're supposed to plot?

"I'd love to write a book" a colleague said today "I just wouldn't know where to start".

"No, me neither" I said.

"But how do you do it, then? You must know. You write."

"Dunno really," I said after a long think "I sort of know more how I don't do it.

For a long time I was a bit embarrassed about my writing habits. Since I've been blogging I have found that it takes all sorts, so here is my take on my writing methods!

1. What's a plot? I don't.

2. I write the last line first and make a vague attempt to work towards it, but often this changes as the plot grows itself.

3. Inspiration can come from the back of a cereal packet, a chance remark or an odd fact I came across. The Diva Jaspari grew from a song by Antony and the Johnsons.

4. I often write two things at once - currently writing Natural Magick (a sequel to Coven of One), also re-writing Capricorn Wind, and just started growing a new one (?).

5. I research as I go along and get distracted for hours at a time. Finding suitable herbal remedies for 'Coven' led me to some really interesting work on bunions in the twelfth century.

6. I keep a notebook for each novel with vital information in it, timelines, dates, relationships, lists of characters etc.

7. I often wake in the middle of the night with a new paragraph laid out in my head. I learnt to put a pen and paper next to the bed but sometimes the call is so strong that I have to get up and write.

8. If there was no one, or nothing else to stop me, I would write for days at a time. When I have run dry with a novel I use poetry or a short story to kick start me again. Blogging has the same effect except I now blog in what I would call my coffee breaks - hah!

9. While I write I am living that book.

10. I adore every twist and turn, every plot problem, hurdle and headache that writing a book brings. I am only sad when I get to the last chapter and often put it off for a few days because I can't bear it to end.

Lost the plot - where the hell is it?