Saturday, March 24, 2007

It is a truth universally acknowledged that people today are quite mad.


In order to shift more copies of a deluxe collection of Jane Austen's works, the publisher, in her infinite wisdom, has decided to give her a makeover!
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Helen Trayler says: "We’ve given her a bit of a makeover, with make-up and some hair extensions and removed her nightcap. Now she looks great — as if she’s just walked out of a salon.”
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I am horrified - what's next - double D cups for the Bronte's, a nose job for Dickens, and a spray tan for the rest? This is complete tosh.
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Ms Trayler said: “Virginia Woolf wasn’t much of a looker. I’m also considering making over George Eliot, who was frumpy, and William Wordsworth, who was pretty hideous. Most poets were really unattractive, with the one exception being Tennyson, who has wonderful bone structure.”
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Well, I'm glad Tennyson escapes, shame about the rest of the munters.
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Read the whole article at Timesonline HERE - grrrrrrr.

23 comments:

BABY JESUS said...

The Baby is a fan of Gore Vidal. One loves the First World War poets, and what a smasher to look at.He must use his own hair products.

Verilion said...

Somewhere in a dusty box is REM's Eponymous LP and on the back is this really cheesy photo of Michael Stipe with the caption: THEY AIRBRUSHED MY FACE! This Trayler woman sounds like a complete fruit loop. The mind is boggling.

Debi said...

I want a makeover!

Minx said...

That was the most singularly stupid thing you have ever said Debi.

JOHN!!!!!!!!!

Debi said...

Oh I'm sure I've said more stupid things than that in my time.

Minx said...

You said " I want a makeover" in front of the Carver - are you mad?

The Moon Topples said...

Well, there's no value to a beautiful phrase written by an ugly person, is there? I know when I read anything, I carefully scrutinize the author photo on the jacket. If they do not appear lovely, I put the book back down.

Perhaps now that she's attractive, I'll have to give this "Austen" another chance.

On behalf of America, good night.

Minx said...

I think you may have put into words what most of us are actually thinking, Mr Moon.
You would have though that Ms Austen would have been more concerned with her book sales in this century.
Ugly people have no place in this world. They should be shut away from the light of day until those clever people with the photoshopping whatnots have made them all perfect.

Verilion said...

Hey following your and Maht's reasoning and your comments in previous post I should have no probs getting into print! (Apart from the obvious facts that life isn't that simple, I need to write something longer than five hundred words, I need to write...) just ignore me...

John said...

I's you, Debi, I wouldn't change a thing. Wouldn't if I was me, either. We commandos have got to stick together.

Um, that didn't come out quite right...

Minx said...

No, it didn't - sloppy comment, Carver, try again please.

Debi said...

No problem, Carver. I knew exactly what you meant.

But about that 2nd chin ...

L>T said...

Ah fuck em! that's all I can say.

I'll continue to get my good books from garage sales anyway.

If anyone hasn't read JANE AUSTIN by now, they are either 12 years old or a moron.

Minx said...

Misread that completely as...

"I'll continue to get my good LOOKS from garage sales anyway."

Interesting lives you Merkans have. Do garages do botox over there - my face is sagging today?

Marie said...

So we have to look like supermodels to get published now do we?

How shallow.

Minx said...

Yes, absolutley, Marie. Did you not know that Debi is Kate Moss, Skinty is really Twiggy, and John Baker is Claudia Shifter.
Better get the scalpel out.

wolfbaby said...

that is utter rubbish.. what matters are the words not the looks. IT just goes to show how wrong some people are.. grrr

L>T said...

ha ha! So far no botox. Free kittens, dusty books, & last years knick-knacks, is usually what's at a garage sale.

Meloney Lemon said...

This is barking marketing!

Meloney Lemon said...

This is barking marketing!

Meloney Lemon said...

At the risk of repeating myself.

The Wandering Author said...

I wish I were more surprised. But, looking at some of the other lunacy the publishing world has engaged in lately, I'm not.

The last I checked, anyone with the sense to bother reading, instead of squatting on the couch squinting at the television, was more interested in what was inside the book than the author photo / picture on the cover.

I did know one person, in junior high school, who picked out books because they had "beautiful" women on the cover. Even in junior high, when I read a lot of junk, I only tried to read one of them once. (And, in my defence, that time I was desperate: my only choices were that or a math textbook. I ended up reading the math textbook...)

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