Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Inner Demon - gettin' deep down and dirrrty!


Julia Buckley's Deep Down and Dirty Meme

1. Biggest fear: popping me clogs before I've finished giving you the gossip about..........

2. Most meglomanical ambition: ... You should be able to get your nails done on the national health. Politicians should be rounded up and herded over a cliff and anyone who uses the word 'celebrity' should be disemboweled - publicly.

3. When you’re talking to your boss, you’re usually thinking about: ...the need for serious scaffolding when you get to a certain age, the advantages of investing in large knickers and the relief that I don't have the burden of THAT hair.

4. Most disgusting habit: ...smokin', swearin' and spittin' - sometimes even together.

5. Criteria for judging other people: ...Please me, or depart.

6. How do you measure up? -- How rude! I would rather eat pins than disclose this information.

7. What do you think when you see a fat person eating fast food?: ...Oh look. There is a McPlump person, who has been eating McFattening food. They might like to go on a McDiet and eat McLess food because then there would no money going into the McSupersize bank of McFucking McBurgertwats.

8. How about when you see thin person smoking?: --Umm, err, well, that's probably me, so we'll say no more about it!

9. When you meet someone of the same gender who’s more attractive than you, inside you think: ...Dig her eyes out with a spoon, pour wax in her hair, shave her eyebrows off and then let's see who is the fairest of them all!

10. When you meet someone of the opposite gender who’s less attractive than you, inside you think: ...Oh yurk, fell out the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

11. The last lie you told was: ...9 & 10, oh and 1 and maybe 2, 6, 5, not forgetting 7 and all the others - compulsive liar, me!

12. Tell us about the time you read someone’s diary/hacked into their emails/went through their stuff: ... I do this all the time. Are you telling me it's wrong?

13. You know that person who you’re secretly jealous of - and there’s a part of you, that you can’t quite suppress, that wishes they would, just for once, get to taste a bit of your luck? .Tell us what you hate about them – go on let it all out: ...I don't do jealousy - it is a waste of energy and I have already disposed of any unwanted hangers-on!

14. The most expensive thing you’ve ever stolen was: Nicking things of value is not fun. Once ate a £2.50 Toblerone bar in a very expensive hotel room, and replaced it for an identical one that cost 35p. You have no idea how good that chocolate tasted!!

15. Even though all this is true, you’re still a really good person because…I love everyone, even the small, ugly ones. I adore little fluffy things and only ever eat one at a time. I would also like world peas.
Thanks Atyllah - how I love a meme!
Tag yourself, if you wish - a bit of truth never hurt anyone!

28 comments:

Atyllah said...

I think your response to #7 really did it for me! Yeah! Go, Minx!

Minx said...

All my answers are with tongue firmly placed in cheek. I am not a fatist - there are many skinny people who fill the McShite coffers!

The Moon Topples said...

hmmm.

Shameless said...

Minx, only you can bring a smile to my face every time! :)

Minx said...

Hmmm? Whaddya mean, hmmmm, Mr Topples? What does that mean? A 'hmmm' is neither here nor there. Do I just have to fill in the gaps either side of the 'hmmm'. Is this a good 'hmmm' or a bad 'hmmm'? Are you cross with me, fed up, bored out of your mind, or are you just suffering from lazy comment syndrome?
Well it's not my fault you can't think of something to say, or nothing better than a very inept 'hmmmm'. I am now left wondering if I am inadequate and I shall stay up all night worrying that I have somehow made a boo-boo with this post. Perhaps this 'hmmm' means that you are completely indifferent and I have failed to touch you on any level with my natural wit and gay repartee. I am distraught, yes, yes, look, even a few tears - dab, dab. Should I give up blogging?

Or did you, could you possibly, have come over to sing me a little ditty, hum me a little tune after I have just dug to the depths of my soul unloaded all that truth on the world?

Hmmmm?

Minx said...

Shameless, you can stay.

The Moon Topples said...

well, uh...

Minx said...

Are you just coming over here to make noises at me, MT? Or is this an exercise in short-change expletives?

Ah.

John said...

Mmmhmm. Right.

The Moon Topples said...

Aoooogah!

the domestic minx said...

Absolutely hilarious!!
Your vitriolic outbursts (with tongue in cheek of course) were inspired!!
I will be smirking all day after this!

Minx said...

And don't you start encouraging him, Mr Wordcarver.

Smirk away, Ms Domestic. My tongue is acid for reasons best known to the lying words on the front of the hair dye box. For 'Midnight Blue' read 'Complete Tart Jet Black'. I am Gypsy Rose Minx!

L>T said...

Jesus, you scare the hell out of me.


Re:
smokin', swearin' and spittin'

smoking & swearing OK, but spitting?
Yuck!

Debi said...

Ha ha ha. You understand that, don't you?

Damn - I've been tagged too. The larf's on me cos I haven't got the time.

Minx said...

Oh L>t, really! I am a pussycat and I only ever spit in a ladylike manner - phhhtt.

The Moon Topples said...

Minx: I did enjoy this post. Just had some trouble verbalizing yesterday.

Minx said...

I didn't!

Verilion said...

Some of these comments are as funny as the post! Love it.

L>T said...

well, of course the spitt'n I'm used to involves chewing tobacco. I know you wouldn't do that.
But, you still scare me, anyway.

Minx said...

I am not that scary L>t, ask Debi. I only kidnapped her children once AND I gave them back!

This tobacco chewing, does it require a spitoon? I quite fancy that.
Pa-doink!

L>T said...

Minx, around here "chew" isn't that glamorous. It's not spitting as much as it is dribbling. The "chew" goes in the persons bottom lip, which makes it stick out. Kinda stupid looking really & makes people talk funny. They have to wipe their mouth alot as it fills up with spit & then the person has to find a container to spit the nasty brown liquid into. Ever have a grasshopper spit on you? It's like that, only much more, with chunks in it. Are you disgusted yet?

You really don't scare me much, it's just that you are so witty & you could insult me & I wouldn't know it.

John said...

You'd know it...

Minx said...

L>t, okay, fairly disgusted now - not a habit I am about to take up. I'll stick to the snuff.

I'll take the 'witty' as a huge compliment but please note, that I only ever insult people I like.

Jefferson Davis said...

Minx, your Meme is my favourite. Me likes all of your responses, especially No. 7. :)

Minx said...

All true, of course, Jefferson!

Confucious Trevaskis said...

You lied about your most disgusting habit......TELL THEM......

Confucious Trevaskis said...

Or I will............

Minx said...

Oh please! It's not that bad, is it?