Walking canvas

I can almost hear my parents turning over in their graves sighing - "oh jeezus, not another one".

I am resisting the urge to smirk, teenagelike and trying to remember that I am in my forties and should know better. It isn't working.

Whoop, whoop! I have just added to my modest catalogue of bodyart with, again, a self designed tat.

It is still a little scaley, flaking healthily to reveal the brand new branding underneath. I love it just as much as I love my other small works of skin art.

This is the first tattoo that I've had that I can't really cover up, especially in summer. My other ones range from mildly hidden to completely hidden in everyday life.
I have never had any wish to become a tattooed lady, full body art, sleeves, cuffs etc have never appealed to me and I have always been a little concious of not losing a job or upsetting my boss at work who sometimes glances pointedly at my nose piercing (very ouch). I have enough to satisfy the alternative me but not enough to frighten small children.

In case any of you are remotely interested here are some FAQ's...

Does it hurt?
Yes, like fuck, but after the initial sting you kind of get to like it! He said I would scream like a banshee when he got to my big toe - I didn't (women are so much better at pain) but I did wince after when I stubbed my toe getting off the chair.

How long does it take?
The whole thing took an hour from prep to the last needle hole (I should say five needle holes because the shading tool has seven darling little needles).

Is it painful afterwards?
Not really, just a bit like sunburn. I use a gel designed for piles (an ancient remedy and completely un-official) and it helps combat the drive-you-nuts itching you get as it heals (do NOT pick).

How long does it take before it settles in?
About a month to six weeks. You endure the scabby, flaking and then you are left with a raised design - this goes down completely in about six months.

Are tattoos addictive?
Totally. As soon as one is finished I want another!

Do I have any regrets?
None at all. I love my bodyart. They are with you for life so being branded with someone's name has never appealed. I thought long and hard about each one and planned them down to the finest detail.

My only advice to anyone would be - express yourself if you are absolutely sure it is you that you are expressing!

Master of the dance

Oh yikes! There it was lying in a heap of newly minted freshness on my doormat. It was late but that made it no less interesting. The request inside said 'for review for John Baker's Virtual Tour' and seeing as today is today I had exactly six days to cogitate and spit out a review of a book that fell into none of my usual reading categories.

I have blogged alongside John Baker for over three years. I admire his dedication to keeping his blog crisp, neat and professional (unlike my own rabid, meandering, often of late, neglected blogspot). I have also admired his dry sense of humour and nifty line in hats! So, who is John Baker and why does he tell me that he has been tangoed?

John is a crime writer and his latest offering - Winged with Death, is simply a great read (so far!). As an 'occasional' writer I am intrigued by the process of writing and how a writer gets down and dirty with his subject. The novel opens in Uruguay, John says...

"I dreamed Uruguay. Or at least I dreamed Montevideo. Just woke up one morning and realised I'd been in Montevideo all night long. Never visited the place in reality. Started writing immediately to get the feeling of the place down on paper."

..and he did. The novel opens with a near penniless Frederick Boyle landing in this heaving nest of intrigue and the prose is a dance in itself, weaving through the hideously censured world of Uruguay in the 70's. The dance fascinated me, I learned a lot as Frederick Boyle evolves into Ramon Bolio and works his way through the process of becoming a Milonguero - a master of the dance.

John surprised me even more by telling me that tango has been part of his life for a while (always write about what you know!). I threw out the image of a Yorkshireman with a rose between his teeth as the author explained that tango is far less saucy than I would like to imagine (he would nevertheless like to have a go with Penelope Cruz if given the chance!).

I am alsmost embarrassed to say that I have not read John before but Winged with Death (I am on page 216) has alerted my reading senses to a genre I vaguely ignored before. Well written, crisp, neat and ultimately a page turner.

"Florencia is sweet and sickening at the same time. She attracts and repels. I find her repulsiveness attractive. She is forbidden territory. I am not allowed her"

As is my want, I asked John some very probing (read 'stupid') questions and in particular one was about his Spanish name, should he ever wish to change. "Pandero de John." he replied, which very simply translates as John Baker. I liked it as much as I like the book and have decided that my own blog name translated could serve me well - 'Moza Descarada Interna'.

Anyway if you are edging on the brink of trying a crime novel I would urge you to give this a go. He's actually quite good!

Oh, and he blogs HERE

News and stuff

For those of you who -
a) Couldn't be bothered
b) Gave all their loose change to that dodgy looking bloke selling DVD's for £1.99
c) Thought that witches went out with the last one burnt at the stake
d) or thought that Dorcas Fleming was just a figment of my imagination

well, here's an easy way to get hold of my words....

SMASHWORDS

COVEN OF ONE is now at the the mercy of your mouse. Click it and see!

Coven of One is still selling steadily and if you would still like to purchase one in the old fashioned way and still enjoy having the real thing on your shelf then you can go here and buy a nice smelling, shiny new copy as well.

Opening Chapter Publishers

Go on, you know your are curious!!

An audience with the Pope

So, I stopped the clocks and got off my not-so-merry-go-round for a while. Did you miss me? No, probably not - you all have your own Popish meetings to attend and in the grand scheme of things mine was just a quick chat with his holiness.

He's like that, the Pope, I mean, he fitted me in between a couple of heads of state and the latest episode of Lost and offered some sound advice about engine tuning. He told me to ignore all the moaning emails and concentrate on getting my car back on the road. So I did.

My little car was knackered and had lost its sense of direction, it kept driving down one way streets the wrong way and parking in illegal places! His Popeness suggested the scrap yard but I found a wonderful car mechanic who cleaned up my oil spills and pleasantly tweaked my over-fandangled condooberaters until I was on the road again.

So remember....

If you have an audience with the Pope
and you're saving the world at eight
If he says he needs you,
he says he needs you,
everybody's going to have to wait!

And you did - thank you.