Tuesday, July 08, 2008
Dear Americans (Merkans)
As I have been blogging for over two years now I think I am just about getting the hang of your funny accent. What I can't get used to is your constant need to change perfectly good spellings, or your need to call something by a completely different name (I'm afraid to tell you that zucchini are really called courgettes).
I know that we probably gave you all our worst spellers in the beginning but this really isn't an excuse for mangling your original language (mangle = wringer - the thingy with the wooden rollers to get the juice out of washing, good for squishing worms as well).
I have noticed, during my extensive research, that English English has many words for the same thing and when we run out we just make some more up! I have also learned that your pants can go all the way down to your ankles whereas our just cover our bits and I now know that zip code does not mean deciphering a secret message before undressing. I am still a little confused by the jam/jelly/jello thingy but I do understand when you insist on calling chips 'fries' because you gave us McDonald's (thanks a lot).
I know that cookies are biscuits (except when they are choc chip cookies), diapers are nappies but what the hell is a moonpie? Twinkies look interesting but you can keep your Hershey bars (yuk), the dodgy looking super blow pops and will someone please explain hominy grits - it is beyond me? In return I will try my best to explain the intricacies of tea making, yorkshire pudding and umm, marmite (can anyone really explain marmite to the un-initiated?).
I believe that these cultural exchanges will cement our relationship with you merkans as long as we don't venture into any grey/gray areas.