Sunday, January 06, 2008
Gilt or guilt
I quite like eating so tomorrow morning I once again set my alarm clock to rouse myself to earn another tin of beans for the larder.
I have been employed since I left education, going back to work when the Feckers were both three months old and struggling through the odd times when the MD changed jobs and money was tighter. We are (I hate to say it) an average family. We have an average lifestyle, an average mortgage and two point four average children.
Yesterday a friend popped in.
"Oh my God, is that new?"
I cringed. I wanted to crawl under a stone but not before I had run off a list of excuses for having bought such a thing. I don't need justification for buying a new pair of shoes/earrings etc so why do I feel so bad?
"It's huge." she added.
"I know, I know, don't remind me." I said diverting her attention to some coffee.
"Why did you buy it then if you don't like it? My kids would kill for something like that."
When she had gone I went in and stared at the new thing. The rest of room is quite acceptable in my eyes. There's a trunk we nicked from a skip that holds all the DVD's and video's. The weird thirties cabinet that I bought from a junk shop and lovingly restored and a small table that the junk shop man gave me because it was in pieces (again restored).
I glared at the monster that is now squatting in my living space. Forty inches of high definition televisual entertainment earned with our hard earned average money - so why do I feel so guilty?