Minx - Ah, Mr Bill, come in, sit down. No not there, that's ....
Pundy - Gosh, there's a lot of pointy things around here.
M - (hmm, and you will have a pointy ear if you sit on my best hat again) Now, Pund, I asked you round to tea...
P - Tea? Is that tea? Are you sure?
M - For the love of the Goddess, Pund, sit down and drink. Green is as good a colour for tea as any. Now, about the book.
P - Err, yes. What did you think?
M - I think I probably hate Nick Dowty and would cheerfully dig out his eyes with blunt spoons and use them as olives in a gin sling.
P- So you didn't like it.
M - The man is awful, unforgivable. He makes having sex with Hannibal Lecter seem like the soft option.
P- Nice boots.
M - Thanks, but don't get me off the subject. What was I saying?
P - How much you don't like my book.
M - But he's ghastly, no redeeming features at all. I found myself shouting at the wall, thumping pillows.
P - No hope then.
M - No, no hope at all. You painted a creature I could happily castrate and feed his balls to the pigs.
P - I couldn't change your mind, I suppose? Money? Gifts of extreme value? A house in Bali?
M - Goddess no! He's a bad un. A horror.
P - Ohhh.
M - Pund? What's the matter? Here have a tissue.
P - (Sniff) You hated the book.
M - What? Did I say that? No, I don't hate the book, far from it. I hate him. Nick Dowty. He must be well written to provoke such a reaction in me - the bastard.
P - You liked it?
M - Of course I did, you silly twat. Good writing, tidy plot, disagreeable characters, nasty little twisty end - what more can I say except to recommend it to others to read? Now dry your eyes and have one of me cakes.
P - Thank you. Mmm, hemlock and pea, my favourite.
M - Err, Pund, just tell me, who exactly did you you base Nick Dowty on?
To find out just how obnoxious Nick Dowty really is go HERE and order a copy for yourselves.