The Royal Drawers

Sometimes in my quiet times
I have to stop and pause
and wonder what the queen is wearing
- especially her drawers

Does she own some special underthings?
(I imagine they'd be decent)
For outings such as Ascot
And the opening of parliament

I'm sure she'd have some tartan ones
with all the Scottish reeling,
and ones with yappy corgis on
it may be just a feeling, but

does she have some riding ones?
Adorned with horse and hoof
and frenchy ones for holidays
I suppose we'll never know the truth

Black lace, of course, for funerals
with matching royal hose
and an order of the garter
(Philip rather fancies those).

And what about the Knighthoods
presenting prizes to the winners
I expect she's got built-in pockets
with mints for after dinner

And she must have special 'sailing' drawers
QE2 pants, oh so cute
and matching 'fliers' to include: a place
to hold a parachute

There is one thing I think she would not own
no rubber, and no thong
and the queen in printed tiger skin
is a vision that is wrong

I think she would have pastel pants
in pink and palest peach
except for her seasonal ones, red,
to deliver a Xmas speech

Did Norman Hartnell match them
to all her splendid outfits?
warm and snug
a royal hug
to cover all her bits

I really must control myself
my mind it does just flicker
on all those less important thoughts
....and poor old Queenie's knickers.

.