We didn't mean to, he really was an accident. We were minding our own business, with no thoughts of getting a dog but there was a conspiracy, a dollop of fate, and us being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
We were dropping some old blankets off to the local rescue centre and there he was. An overweight, neglected lump of lard - slow moving, mangy ears with a pair of eyes that melted the heart.
'We're not doggy people' I tried to reason 'we like cats, don't we?'
We all agreed, but an hour later the hound had taken up residence, and has been with us for eight years.
It wasn't all plain sailing, he is a problem dog with autistic tendencies. He doesn't like walking, hates the beach, he has to have vallium on November 5th and tries to molest the cat at every opportunity. He has attended every dog school going and failed miserably, even getting chucked out of two for misbehaving. He steals my underwear from the laundry, attacks the hoover and drinks from the toilet - Useless!!
He is sixteen now, well past his sell-by-date. He has a heart condition, arthritis and is gradually losing his sight. We know that his days are numbered but he will leave a surprising hole in our lives when he goes. He has been a Useless dog, in every sense of the word, but he is loved, and it is enough.