Maxine, a while back, was sad that she had never thought to write down the weird and wonderful things that her children had said over the years. Mmm, well, I kept a book. Here's a couple.
Big Fecker was about six. He was mad on the film 'The Terminator' and we had relented and let him watch it with advice about the language and the general content.
He marched around the house in a borrowed leather jacket and a mean pair of shades saying "I'll be back" to anyone who came through the door.
I am a hater of parents who push their children to show off their talents but his act was so funny that when my parents visited I could not resist.
"Go on show them your Terminator".
My Dad looked bemused and crouched down beside him. My little darling, with the voice of an angel, held his gun up and said
"Fuck you asshole".
Small Fecker(about three at the time) was in the bath with me and had been pondering a little problem.
"Mum, I've got a willy haven't I?"
"Yes, you have"
"And Dad's got a willy hasn't he?"
"And Big F, he's got one?"
"Yes, he has"
"So why have you got a triangle then?"
(I have to say that at this point I praised SF for his knowledge of 'shapes' and explained the rest a few years later)