Saturday, May 06, 2006

Famous people - come hither!

Today I have a bad attack of the miseries. I should probably not be anywhere near my blog in case I infect anyone with my twenty-four hour depression. I suppose I am suffering from post-interview syndrome, tired, drained and left in the lurch until next week. To cap it all I had another cold, impersonal 'thanks but no thanks' from a lit agent who had hung onto my beloved for five months.


What am I to do? Where am I going wrong? How do I get my pointy boot in the door?

The trouble is that you never know where you are going wrong.
Was the cover letter too much, too little, too bright, too dull?
Was the synopsis a 'grab em by the throat' or a damp squib?
Did I say enough about myself?
I'm not going to say anything about the actual manuscript because if I lose faith in that I may as well give up now.

Give me a hint, a tiny clue!

At least at interview I got a chance to prove myself face to face, blinding them with my glowing credentials and my sparkling personality. I know how to tackle an application form but I have discovered that I would rather write a hundred books than write one measly covering letter.
That is not to say that I have not poured my heart and soul into it, far from it. I have slaved into the night to produce a letter than would convince God himself that I was worthy of an Angelhood.
I wish that agents would say something, anything that would help you one way or another. Just a teeny-weeny message in the corner would do.

I have come to the conclusion that:
1. I need a famous person/known author to be my bestest friend.
2. Famous person must also be on intimate terms with agent or publishing house
3. Famous person needs to drop my name every five minutes at famous people gatherings
4. Famous person must be a) famous, or b) have large breasts and a bad auto-biography

So if you are an FP, come hither and meet your new best friend. I will forever be indebted and will run your fan club, clean your house, wash your knickers and supplicate myself every time you walk into the room. Just give me a leg up and shove me to the front of the queue and I promise I'll dedicate the first one to you!


Nooy said...

LOL, I'm not that kind of famous so I cannot help you there. Just wanted to say thanks for the comment and, well, the phrase: "if everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane." Just came to mind while reading your blog so I had to leave it for you..
For the poetry.. hmmm words seem so futile when you have to think of a good one. How about "rendez-vous" it is French but I'm sure it is commonly used in english and it might make for an intersting rhyme or play with words.. Have a blast!

Maxine Clarke said...

Depression and failure, tell me about it. I have just read your post after a few days "off" reading blogs.
I am a total failure, and I have never even got to the point of writing a novel or sending off a letter about it.
I think you are so brave to send off the little packets of creativity like sweet doves, into the cruel fires of the hard, rocky world.
Whatever they say, and however they react, remember it is about them not you. Their opinions are not facts, they do not affect the value of what you do or its worth.

Unknown said...

Kind words, my friend.
Lal to you