Monday, April 20, 2009

The tanning conspiricy and other unlikely theories

I met an acquaintance outside a shop.

"You haven't been in there have you?"

"Err, yes and no." I said, glancing back into the tanning shop. I knew what was coming next - yep, here we go....

"Skin cancer." she hissed.

"Unlikely." I hissed back, and moved off before she had a chance to tell me that I was going to drop dead next month.

(gravy browning will kill you one day!)

It wasn't that I didn't agree with her, over-tanning is definitely bad for you but it would be hard to explain about a congenital liver condition = low level jaundice = nausea and that 3 mins of UV a week helps keep me healthy!

No, okay, I suppose it wouldn't be that hard to explain . I do have a bit of a tan - it was mostly gained from an afternoon sorting out a jungly garden last week, but do I need to justify that to anyone? Surely my choices are my own.
The government helpfully put pictures of nasty diseases on packets of cigarettes - desperately trying to look politically correct they are still raking in the extortionate taxes. It is the same with alcohol and all the other vices that humans like.

(No? Well, maybe you should be!)

Too much of anything can kill you but I am struggling to find a reason for not getting as much fresh, tax free, legal air that I can.


Wanderlust Scarlett said...

A little color is a good thing. Makes you *look* healthier. I'd rather have you with rosy cheeks than

-deathly pale-

...there's a reason for that terminology.

So... I am compelled to ask... is there such a thing as too much chocolate?
I thought not.
Just checking.


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Pallav said...

I used to do drugs, I mean I still do but I used to too--read this quote by some rockstar :)

color is good! and only if some research said that cigs make people fat, how many would be smoking now?



Unknown said...

About time you blogged!

Too much sex is bad for you as well. Bollocks!!

Helen + ilana = Hi said...

I apologize profusely if memes are not your thing. But I'd love to see your conversation of this meme! You'll find the 'rules' in my post at

Hope you join in.

Word Verification
nitiven the drug you should recommend to people who accost you on the street to hiss at you..

Unknown said...

Yay, look and feel healthier, Scarlett. Sun BURN is the danger.

Smoking makes you fat, Nothingman? Oh crap!

Too much sex is not bad for you, John G, only bad sex is bad for you!!

I am coming to peruse this meme but you know what I am like HI,.....

Unknown said...

Sexy, it appears that too much Sexy may be bad for my health and for your health. Now that you have spammed yer way around my whole blog I find that I may be wanting to carry out a long held ambition to punch someone on the nose. So please fuck off in the nicest possible way!

Unknown said...

A little of what you fancy does you good. Besides, you get Vit D from it too...

bulletholes said...

I have a freind, Laura, who goes for a tan about once a week. I've been trying to get in her pants for some time now, and its not that big a deal, but she keeps refusing me.
Anyway, last week she says "Why don't you come get a tan with me?"
So I said
"What good is a tan if you don't let anyone fuck you" (can I say that here?)
We just laughed!
Hi minx!

Anonymous said...

I am already brown from the sun as I worked on the lotty all day last weekend. Like we evolved on this planet - I guess we can live here unharmed. Peiople should get out more...

red dirt girl said...

if you can't say something nice ...

my sister tells me 'our' cellulite looks better tanned. since when did 'our' cellulite join forces, i ask?


Unknown said...

I fancy quite a lot of things, Babs, oh dear!

Hi Bullets, perhaps she only likes to fuck men with a tan! Get one quick.

You're right, Muts, I am going out right now....

Cellulite is like that, Red, it always sticks together. Just watch it if it tries to make friends with droopy boobs or flabby thighs!

soubriquet said...

A few years ago, my dermatologist decided that UV therapy might be the next thing to try.
So I had to go three times a week to the hospital and be lightly roasted by UV light, in a stand-up booth.
Now, for a man, they require you to be completely naked, and protect the dangly bits from the light. The official method is a sock. A nurse has to check you, sock in place? goggles?, then hit the flash-roast button.
A sock, dammit.
I felt like a character in a joke.

Unknown said...

Thanks, Souby, that has just conjured up a very curious image!

Beach Bum said...

You might be interested in this then...