Monday, September 01, 2008

Not the lotus position

Right, if you don't mind just stopping what you are doing I'd like some help.

I have a new life, a new path, so I need a new hobby. I don't want to do anything creative (got that covered) and neither do I want to do anything dangerous as I'd like to live a bit longer and please don't suggest anything like yoga....

...as apparently it makes yer clothes fall off.

I am very keen to try something completely different that doesn't involve pain and suffering and I would like to meet new people (Small Fecker suggested getting a boyfriend but the Boyfriend Shop is closed until next year).

As I view you all as intelligent, worldly people I know you will place your more than qualified suggestions in my inner sanctum and by this time next week my life will be enriched beyond my dreams!

pee ess - John G, I am not taking up mud wrestling, okay?

45 comments:

fatboysblogg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wordcrafter said...

Minx, try line-dancing:), belly dancing, African dancing (with new Nigerian music) this last fabulous.
Any more ideas, will post again.

leslie said...

Restaurant reviewer.

leslie said...

Pointy boot salesperson.
Quality control in a gin factory.
Lock keeper on the narrowboat canals.
Palm reader.

leslie said...

Western wear model.
(nice hat!)

lola said...

~ Chasing cats up trees.

~ Retrieving thrown sticks for hours and hours - preferably on a sandy beach where you can also swim with stick in mouth.

~ Stealing various items of lingerie from the house and burying them in the back yard (ecological: helping rabbit friends to build new homes.)

~ Drink lots of peach tea behind owners' backs.

~ Chew as many books that you can.

~ When all else fails? Learn to take naps on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house.


woof.

ps.
a good scratch behind the ears and a belly rub every now and then can be nice. Ask your owner to comply with a soulful, mournful gaze .... practice these various 'faces' in the mirror ... THEY WORK!

c.s. said...

sell life insurance...you will be great, i reckon.

Minx said...

Sounds wet and dangerous, FB, and there is nowhere to fit the sick bucket!

Mmm, belly dancing, Wordcrafter, soft bellies of the world unite but line dancing is just plain weird. I like a bit of 'close' dancing.

QC in a gin factory, do I get paid as well, Leslie? Sounds like a job I might be qualified for.
Do you really like my hat? I bought it in the western town of Padstow when I was a bit drunk - I love hats.

Stealing lingerie appeals, Lola, but I don't think I would bury it.

CS, laughing at that one. Do people sell insurance as a hobby? Then again getting paid for something you like might be good.

BarbaraS said...

Rock Climbing.

Minx said...

That's climbing rocks, right Babs? Hard things with pointy edges that you have to climb up? I'm not too keen on lycra either, so I may have to give that one a miss.

bulletholes said...

With a name like Minx you should take up Animal Husbandry...you have just the right disposition, wit and sense of adventure it might require.
Or knot tying...you could learn to tie a Geier Hitch.
I guess all you Kingsmen play Golf and Darts already....
hey! you could go down to the Spirit of the West (yep, its real live action here everyday)and do some volunteer work in the Mining Town cathouse.

Debi said...

Smoking? Drinking? Chocolate eating? Hip covering? Hat wearing?

All done?

Howzabout writing, painting, dancing, samba playing, befriending, blogging ...?

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Seems like all the bases have been covered by my predecessors! Hmmmm.
Bases! How about baseball; 9 women playing 9 men, all in Stetsons and boots. You can make up the rules as you play!
ba dum bum

Reading the Signs said...

There must be something wrong with me. I can't think of anything that doesn't involve pain and suffering apart from cake-decorating - and even that I'm not sure about as I haven't actually done any. But good luck - and keep us informed.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Cooking
Gardening
Music
Photography
Meditation
...rearrange the furniture?

TANGO.

Are you looking for something to do or a change of scenery?


Best of luck with it.
I like the baseball cowboys idea...

;o)

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

leslei said...

I just came back from Debi's, and there is a ukelele band playing at the Pipe and Slippers...

When you're done doing QC at the gin factory you could join the ukelele band!

I checked with the gin factory, by the way...seems they only offer stock options.

Minx said...

But I don't want a husband, Bullets, animal, vegetable or mineral!
I don't play golf (balls are too small) and no darts either (that's the reserve of fat beer drinking men). The cathouse sounds interesting - do you want to tell me about it?

Some help you are, Debi, especially as I kindly dragged you along to all my existing hobbies!! Btw, I have an afro wig and a pair of sky high platforms for the next time you're down!

Ooh, ooh, this is more like it, Petra. I am thinking football in heels and tennis in evening wear....

Cake decorating, Signs?????? Have you read my blog at all?

I fell asleep at the beginning of yer list, Scarlett but woke up to TANGO! Hmm, yes, that's ticking some boxes.

I may hitch a ride to London next week, Leslie, the P&S thing is fab and who could miss a gaggle of ukelele players?
(Is it a gaggle? A tribe? A troup? A pod? Fuck knows)

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

Thank you for stopping by, Ms. Minx, and truly appreciate your comment!

handmaiden said...

Run for public office! Campaigning will keep you busy...TV interviews, posing for pictures, shaking hands, kissing babies, it's great fun.

qugrainne.com said...

When I was in that mood, I took bag pipe lessons and met many lovely men in skirts.....

lola said...

hey! hey!

I forgot one !!!

Wiggling .... yep. wiggling is good. noooo ... wiggling is GREAT !!!

especially if you're wet and you use your tail !!!


WOOF! WOOF!

Debi said...

My youngest is currently wearing all the underpants in his drawer (17 pairs). He seems to be enjoying it - so maybe there's a hobby in there somewhere.

Any more helpful?

Minx said...

I do pop in, Petra, and that vignette/playlet was excellent.

Posing hands and shaking babies, HM? No wonder your politics are such fun!

Mmm, men in skirts, Qugrainne - yummy.

Lola, this is sounding a little saucy now - right up my street!

Great, Debi, I shall now try multiple knicker wearing (just for fun and in the privacy of my own home). Thongs may prove a little uncomfortable - ouch!

john.g. said...

Bollocks!! What about jelly wrestling? You name the flavour!

Minx said...

Lime.

Roberta said...

Yodeling?

Mu Tai Dong said...

Maturbating!!or other ting maybe is? Want bye peloop?

Wordcrafter said...

I have been pondering whether you would consider becoming a whirling dervish? you like hats... then there are men.... in skirts:)

Jon M said...

Bird watching then you can always turn the telescope onto the neighbours' windows if you get bored! I'm taking up yoga again!

Minx said...

Yes, good idea Roberta, I'm feeling a bit 'Julie Andrews' now....Oh no, on second thoughts, I would have to wear those weird leather lederhosen (not with this arse).

Mu? Muuuuu! My favourite bee boss! You're back and making peloops - how cool are you? And thank you for your suggestion but that is a very private kind of hobby and I really want to get out and meet people.
(Oh and 4 peeloops, a number 512A and a portion of coal and cabbage noodles, please)

I think I am getting the idea, Wordcrafter (clever thinking) but do Dervish's have to whirl? Couldn't they/we/I lie around a bit, on satin cushions with little snacks?

If you can put little weights on their feet, Jon M, I could take up bird watching. I don't like it when they flap about and fly. Static birds are fine.
You have been warned about the yoga...

Minx said...

Lola, have you met Mutley? Heh heh heh...

Roberta said...

Whittling? I know you can create impressive object with a long narrow piece of wood. A notch here, a notch there and....hey, is Mutley reading this?

I need orange said...

Well, my sister-in-law makes soap, plays the violin, got her black belt, is learning Italian, spins wool into yarn, knits, is getting her loom in shape so she can weave again, practices archery, and, oh yeah, works as an engineer and has two kids and my brother to whip into shape................

Minx said...

Are you suggesting javelin, or something more exciting like trophy head poles, Roberta?

I can identify with your sister, INO, once you get rid of your TV addiction there is a whole world out there, yes, really!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Qi Gong? Tai Chi? Gardening? Train spotting? Bird watching? Latin American (or ballroom) dancing?
Massage therapy? Hiking? Join the Slow Food movement? Stamp collecting? Campaigning - choose your cause? Astrology? Chocolate making - and eating?

Minx said...

Train spotting, Vanilli? Oh really! I'll try and spot some after I have finished massaging the people from the slow food thingy and knitting socks for Latin American Ballroom Snakes.

zoe said...

Attending funerals. You meet loads of people that way, get free booze and food - and don't even have to buy them a present.

Think about it.

Minx said...

You are as wise as a wise thing, Zoe, I am looking up the recently dead right now! Hope 'The Twat' is well.

bulletholes said...

how 'bout Beekeeping, Honey?
Or Birdwatching Babe...
or Dollhouses (my favorite) Dearie?
Then there is Glassblowing, Origami or Mumblety-Peg and Manga, Minxy.
OK..i'm through now.

bulletholes said...

OOPS...forgot Dumpster Diving. do they have that in ...Hornball?
Its a great way to meet people.
Last time I went it was for dinner...we had Dirty Deep Fried Chicken and Dirty Dirty Rice!

Minx said...

Are you stoned, Bullets?

Hah, just been off to look up the mumblety manga thingy and because I often get lost on the interweb I ended up here....
Surrealism server

Here's a couple...
"A Latvian in pain could not attain your Gibraltar-mending squeals."

"Were giraffe's antennae to sprout from your barnacled elbows, one could but weep for the pretense of a fallen chamber pot."

Oh yes, this one is how I found the site in the first place....

"Your love is like 1000 caucasian carnivores playing mumblety peg with an eggplant."

Still don't know what it means!

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

What about gambling? Horse races and the like... you could meet some interesting folk there.

Take your 'sisterhood of the pointy heel' to a new high level and make it full blown organization; have your office at the top of the building and travel by limo.

I *LOVE* that you are introducing Lola to Mutley... I laughed so much I'm not sure I didn't bust something.
Where is Mutley anyway?

Definitely think you should take up Tango. Sexy dresses, pointy heels, well dressed men, hot dancing and lots to drink. I really don't think you could go wrong.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

bulletholes said...

Stoned?
I don't need to be stoned anymore, I'm a natural.
"Sir, you have most exquisite breasts."
Thats what my surrealim fortune cookie said. Cool site, do i get half credit for finding it?
I can't wait to get home and play with my breasts.

lola said...

ARFFF!!!!

Mutley? where is he? can you arrange a PLAY DATE with him for me ???

I really need some canine company ...

Woof.

MoT said...

You could shot little holes in sheets of paper - with an airgun. It's quite big in the Olympics