Sunday, June 15, 2008
It has come to my attention that some people feel that they can just walk right in to my comments box and do and say exactly what they please. So just like those wonderful signs at the swimming pool I think it is about time that I gave you the rules of engagement with the Inner Minx....
1) No spittin' - spitting is rude, un-hygenic and makes a mess in the archives. A spittoon will be placed at the door for those who need to hoik before entering.
2) No cussin' - poncy cussing will not be tolerated. If you wish to swear then please do it properly - I know all the words and use them regularly.
3) No heavy petting - heavy pets must be left in the lobby but a little light petting is indeed acceptable (except for Muts, and he knows why)
4) No sex - there isn't room, so please refer to the instruction on 1) - spittoon etc.
5) No loitering - if you are hanging about in my site meter then I want to know who you are. It is no good just leaving me a vague ISP address, I want an explanation. Whoever it is who comes in at 10.30am every morning - does your boss know that you are reading blogs at work? And the one from the Pentagon (4-5 pm) - get back to work, your country needs you!
6) No google searches - not unless you are really inventive and can think of something other than 'sexy minx' (true, but not very original).
7) No innuendo or lewdness - please get to the point and refrain from double entendre's, tell it like it is and we will all be happier. Smutty and lascivious comments are perfectly acceptable.
8) No stalking - I had one once before and they will not be tolerated. Anyone who hangs around for longer than half an hour will be locked in a room with Pundy (he saved me once before - hero).
9) No chatting amongst yourselves - comments should be directed at the blog host. Anyone would think that some of you are actually friends (which can't happen on the interweb obviously).
10) No parties - this blog has been subject to a number of parties, mostly held in my absence. Seeing as I was one of the founder members of "Oh look, he's on holiday, let's party in the comments box" I would like to encourage partying when the blog host is in residence.
11) No diving in the shallow end - is this applicable? I'm not sure.
12) No food or drink - except gin and chocolate, oh and bananas, which I seem to be eating a lot of lately.
13) No ball games - for obvious reasons (no balls).
Thank you for your attention. A well tended blog is a happy blog so maybe it is best to ignore most of the above and carry on as we were.