Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Spam fritters and meme soup

I love the caring, sharing world of the interweb. Every morning I have a plate of spam for breakfast.
This morning Eleanor Pook enquired if I would like 3 months supply of viagra. No doubt she was in cahoots with Barnabus Ribble who kindly asked if I would like a bigger dick (apparently I can make the ladies moan if I am adjusted accordingly).

In the old days spam came in the form of revolting fritters, packed full of dodgy bits of meat(?). Today it means that you get all sorts of offers from kindly people who are selling a multitude of 'must have' things - so exciting.
Many of these wonderful salespeople have not only been concerned with the size of my wedding tackle but they are also worried that I might not have a genuine fake watch. The worrying thing is that I appear to be sending myself some spam from my website - how did I do that, it's a miracle?

Now, some memish soup.....

Lee Lowe, bless her mortal soul, had tagged me. I should be spitting on her blog but I will do it, just this once because it's bookish (did I say that last time?). So...

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

The Element Encyclopedia of 5000 Spells is my nearest book to hand (research, okay?). The 5th sentence falls under the title Papyrus Hieroglyph Spell...

Crocodiles, like snakes, are simultaneously fearsome, dangerous creatures and potent symbols of psychic protection. Pregnant Isis, after all, hid in the crocodile infested swamps of the Nile Delta. In ancient days the papyrus plant was a hieroglyphic emblem for Lower Egypt. It also served as a protective emblem from crocodiles, lending new meaning to Moses' cradle on the Nile, made from papyrus.

So now you know. A piece of swampy weed will keep you from losing a valuable limb, or two, and may allow you to grow up to be able to part more than just your hair.

Tag victims. Oh poot, I hate this bit.

Roberta - because I am just checking that she is awake.

JohnG - to test if he reads more that just dirty jokes.

- bound to be interesting

G&G - ditto, and he gives me some good reading tips.

Leslie - because she likes crocs and dragons

and the rest of you can spill your reading secrets in the box.


Jon M said...

Yay am first! You don't need a big appendage to make a woman moan, just don't do the ironing! What? what?

Laura Jane Williams said...

Could I get Ms. Pook's email address... you know, for a friend...?

soubriquet said...

Bad time to ask. It's boring. Very boring. Turgid in the extreme...
Couldn't I just lie? See, I'm doing aq bit of study, in connection with my motorsport duties.
"The edges of the hole are then to be welded to the plug that appears through it.12.11.1. In some countries, the law forbids
welding to the chassis of road going vehicles, (Germany,France, BDenmark for example). Competitors frm such countries may be required to prove that a welded assembly is not permitted."
Can I be excused? I bet other people are reading enlightening prose, biographies of the illuminati, and Herge's Adventures of Tin-Tin.
But me?
A book of stuffy rules and stifling regulations. I might just be looking for a loophole or two, whilst I'm at it.
Next nearest book is Lord Salisbury's "Characteristicks", volume III, of MDMCCXXXII, or 1732. Page 123...oh. only two sentences on the if we count five sentences, it takes us to page 125.
"Everyone knows how great a part of the old Heathen Worship confifted in Play, Poetry, and Dance. And tho fome of the more melancholy and fuperftitious Votarys might approach the Shrines of their DIVINITYS with mean Grimaces,Crouchings and other fawning Actions, betraying the low thoughts they had of the Divine Nature; tet 'tis well known that in thofe times the illiberal, fycophantic manner of devotion was by the wifer fort condemn'd, and oft fufpected as knavish and indirect."
Please Miss, can I stop now?

Anonymous said...

This is too easy, and I am no fun...
Debi meme-ed me back in March,and this was my post then...
St.Patrick and meme

Unknown said...

That was fairly awful, Jon - wanders off groaning....

GWAM - Eleanor can be found at

Lying would be good, Soub, I fell asleep halfway through yer comment and woke up just in time to read 'fycophantic' - why don't we spell it like that anymore?

Sorry, Leslie, but surely you are reading something else by now? Heh.

Unknown said...

1. Call up Refine Edge.

If it's not currently available from the Options bar (it's not ther when you use the Magnetic Lasso tool, for example),go to Select, Refine Edge to bring it up.

Photoshop Elements 6.?

Karen said...

I got all excited when I saw the word SPAM, as I love the stuff. The actual stuff. Spam, mash and baked beans. Mmmm. I know what I'm having for dinner...

Unknown said...

Completely mad, JohnG, wtf is a magnetic lasso tool - no, don't answer.

Karen! You need to go to spamanon - they can help you.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

That's very good, I want to read the rest of it now.

Jon's right... ironing indeed.
HA HA HA... he cracks me up.

I get those same spam emails, I keep hoping they will get the hint when I do not reply.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

PS~ Did I ever tell you how much I LOVE all the pictures and art on your page?
I always wind up in a fit of giggles and raised eye brows... it's the best.

Thanks for making it the way it is, I love it.

You inspire me to be mischievous.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Roberta said...

Zzzzzzzz..What! Oh! You caught me! Yawwnnnn! Scratch. Oh bloody hell. I've been tagged.


Yodood said...

You know I like memes as well as the next guy, but this one reveals a characteristic about me that I am at a loss to find relevant to anything: I seem to have a lousy sense of choosing reading whose one hundred twenty third page, fifth paragraph could be in anyway construed to be relevant to anything out of the context from which it was lifted, much less to me. So saying, I decline your tag in hopes you won't forget me in your next fit of tagging.

Here in Austin there is held a Spamarama Festival where the non email variety is used for everything from building material to characters in stop action animation, including recipes.

So, did you like Jitterbug Perfume?

Anonymous said...

I will do the meme properly. Sort of. I'm not tagging anyone.

It will be the next post on my blog after the cactus pictures.

You are so persuasive :)

Unknown said...

Minx, I am reading a book called 'Photoshop Elements 6', to teach me how to use the poxy programme, and that was the line you wanted!

Anonymous said...

Could I have the address for the big cock please?

Roberta said...

Oh Jeeez. Could you please set up Girl with the mask and Monsoon up? I mean really, Minx.

Unknown said...

Thank you, Scarlett, I am what I am, sauce and all!

Thought you were having a little blogdoze, Roberta - glad you are awake.

G&G - recycling spam sounds good but I so wish I could reply to some of my lovely email spam. It would be interesting.
I am a confirmed Tom Robbins fan now. Jitterbug Perfume was fabulous.

Leslie, please don't do it again, once is enough!

No need to explain, JohnG, just get back to yer lasso tool.

Good idea, Roberta - M this is GWAM... (what am I, a bloody dating agency?).

Anonymous said...

As lovely as GWTM is The Peaks is a long way from Cornwall,but thanks for the thought:-)

Anonymous said...

I did it, again.

sexy said...