Because I said everything that I wanted say about Valentine's Day last year, and because I am a lazy tart, I have re-posted my rant. Quite a few of you felt the same and if anyone has anything to add versewise this year - please be my anti-Valentine guest.....
Like Christmas, the hype that surrounds Valentine's Day really narks me. The shops are full of plastic flowers, nasty red things and cards that shout 'WIFE'. I don't want some over-priced chocolates in a heart shaped box, I don't want an edible bra, and you can forget it if you think I'm buying you a leopardskin thong with 'I'm horny' plastered all over it. Join me in a small protest by writing an anti-Valentine poem, or a few words about the whole over-commercialised sorry mess that has taken over a day that should be celebrated quietly with love. Only one rule - no syrup!
Roses are red
Poppies are too
and I need the opium
to keep me with you
Your turn...... and you had better try hard otherwise I will be forced to unleash my inner-sop and cover you with wet kisses! .
And here they come....
.
Nose is all red,
eyes black and blue,
sugary treats
end up in the loo.
Older, no wiser,
flabby and grey,
have a terrific
St. Valentine's day.
*
Debi said...
I love you
I love you not.
You are cold
And I am hot.
or
Quick, quick,
I'm gonna be sick
I'd rather have farts
Than more bloody hearts.
or
Bitter and twisted,
Yeah that's me,
Ugly inside and out.
But still too good,
That's understood,
Of that there is no doubt.
*
Shameless said...
.
If you loved me like you say,
then you'd want more of me,
so I'm going to eat and eat,
the dark and the milky ones,
to become gloriously fatter!
*
To My Second Wifea very short poem by maht
You will never hold a candle
To the ashes on the mantle
*
Cailleach said...
He loves me
He loves me snot
He picks me
He picks me snot
*
Mutley, the disgustin' dog said...Instead of just belching
I've taken up felching*
Its turned me quite gay
on St Valentines Day
*Look it up says the Mut (I did, and it is an old Anglo-Saxon word meaning 'flower arranging')
*
Roberta said...
Old and Married
.
Don't take me to dinner
The flowers will die
I won't eat the candy
so why even try?
.
We're older than dirt
We've been through this before
I won't wear a skirt
So there's the door
.
A card would be nice
But I won't keep it dearly
We'll have steak and a beer
and turn in early
.
You know I love you
I wash your socks...
and if you love me...
well a night off ROCKS!
*
Atyllah said...
Posies of roses
scented, unlike your toeses.
Heart-shaped chocs. OMG!
You snarfed the whole box!
Passion aflame
What? You've been on the game?!
So much for love
Bugger Valentine, it's time you got the shove.
*
Canterbury Soul said...skimming ulysses
plagiarising shakespeare
weeping through clockwork orange
governing edgar allan poe’s temper
falling for big brother in 1984
guffawing with emily dickins
on celebrating valentine’s day .
they all don’t make sense
HERE'S 2008's offerings....
- gregra&gar said...
Cupid's not Santa
Sharing love all the year round
Now dna won, and now
-
trollop23 said... Down with roses!
Phooey to Cupid!
Valentine's Day
is utterly stupid!
Nothingman said...here are my two bits :P
"I sat there and cried
for your dead love
and I asked myself
are these tears real"
.
Gerov of my arse!
Don't steal you a kiss.
I'm tired and cranky,
who started all this?
I'm not your sweet mummie
or I'd raised you better.
Cripes, could you make
your kisses much wetter?
Your hands are all cold,
your breath and feet stink.
You ask if I love you...
What do you think??