With a meet-up of bloggers imminently on the horizon (that's next Sunday, HERE), Pundy provoked my thoughts into wondering once again about the correlation of blogpersona to person (HERE).
With wonderful humour Pundy set about describing himself in adjectives that make suicide sound like a cheery option.
We are mostly hopeless at describing ourselves, apart from basic height and hair colour we seem to miss out the finer details because they seem to embarrass us. Some of us call ourselves writers so describing should come as naturally as conjuring a character - so why isn't it?
In trying to give a description I find that I am verging on painting most of the world's female population...
Eyes - dark blue
Height - 5'5" to 5'8" depending on boots
Hair - long, dark
Build - lumpy interior
Oh crap - useless, you wouldn't pick me out in a crowd of two.
In scanning through the small ads in the local paper I noticed that limiting the words seems to hone down description to a condensed minimum, so ...
For sale:-
Eclectic, bejewelled witch, prone to constant change and ribbons. Fairly lazy but with the right motivation will make an excellent addition to a party. Needs some work. £5.00
Your turn....
23 comments:
Sold!
Do I get change?
I look like my mother. :)
What already, Leslie? I was hoping for a small but exciting bidding war!
John G - no!
Roberta, never mind. It comes to us all although mine will be a surprise as I was adopted.
My classified might read:
Garrulous, uncomfortably dressed, storyteller. Looks younger than the numbers belie. Usually sporting a pencil behind her ear, and good garden soil under her fingernails. Low maintainance, but requires steady supply of chocolate, coffee and bandwidth. Make an offer.
Free to a good home...
Recently unfettered ex housewife. A bit skiddish but bursting with vitality & eager to try out new found freedoms. Warning! This one doesn't like the leash & may bite small children & other annoyances. Do not consider unless you are willing to stand back & give her full reign.
Fabulous, Leslie, you won't be long in the small ads!
Reign or rein - you saucy Maid? Small children deserve to be bitten.
Everyone is unique, as ordinary as we think we are - not that you are! Ordinary that is. Unique, yes. :)
Rent a crowd, a tea party all by herself, you'll never be lonely, nor will she. Intrigued? Contact any one of her many personae.
For the hand of the highest bidder: a bit ruff round the edges, but with sanding, teak oil and regular rubbing you can slowly reveal a glowing, golden grain. Can be a bit thick sometimes, but is very useful when properly provoked. Does best in a sunny position. Water regularly. May be considered a rarity.
Mine would read
Scruffy and fat with few redeeming features.
Unwanted Gift. Free to Good Home.
Hi - I'm the one looking in at all these in a tobacconist's (yes, there are some like that still) window, trying to think which one of you I'd buy.
Sorry Minx, but although tempted by the first three words, I'm very careful about anything described as needing some work.
Roberta, I look like my mother too and I'm not entirely sure that's a good thing. So no sale here either.
Leslie, I need all the chocolate and coffee for myself, sorry.
handmaiden, I am probably not worthy.
chiefbiscuit - not quite sure if you're offering yourself for sale so must regretfully pass on.
Vanilla - very intrigued, but I have a very small house.
cailleach - rare things are not safe with me and I always forget to water.
I'll take mutleythedog. Yep. You'll do.
Unintentionally thrifty, with aging clothes, aging body, and unaging mind.
Free to a good home, or a free meal.
Thank you, CB, unique is good, isn't it?
How many are there of you exactly, Aty? You're beginning to scare me?
A true rarity, Babs, my friend. Whoo hoo - meeting on Sunday!
Crying now, Muts, you would be a sympathy sell.
Don't blame you Signs, I wouldn't buy me either.
Age is good, SW, especially clothes - old, comfy, lived in (bit like my mind, really).
Howzabout a BOGOF?
On 2nd thoughts ...
BTW - sundaysundaysundaysundaysunday.
Me: Manic, ill-tempered, red-nosed, audio-challenged, hyper-hormonal woman for rent or sale. Good organiser. Let the buyer beware.
I think by the sound of things Chief Bisc has got you in one: Unique!
Oh Debi, a million quid wouldn't even begin to cover your worth!
Jan, I am getting suspicious with all this use of 'unique'.
Mostly housetrained, soft and lovable, will make a great addition to your family. Easily excitable; make sure she is off of carpeted surfaces before offering treats. This little gal's antics will offer hours of entertainment. Buyer beware, however: This one needs lots of attention.
Oh, Hoodie, you sound good enough to add to my own household! I live in a male dominated environment where no one is housetrained!
Minx, I’m at a loss of words… All that comes to mind is more wishful thinking probably than self-description.
But if I were to try something that’s as close as possible to reality (I think), then I would say Scarlett O’Hara with a Space Age brain. Huh? Sounds weird…
Oh, and you’re worth much more than... £ 5! :-)
Bring your familiar along, people will know you then!
I'll top Leslie's bid by 1 pound - that's all I can do as 7 pounds is around $34,000 Canadian dollars...
Debi - you don't sound like you could be bought for any amount of cash!
Hoodie, if you were a dog I'd scoop you up into my arms :)
Minx, look what you've started!
Yay, weird, Vesp, but rather cute.
How big is your purse, Trollop????
That's right, Cailleach, blame me - always my fault when comments run amok!
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