Tuesday, December 18, 2007

eeeeek!

Dear fellow bloggers,
you are a wise bunch so I am going to ask your advice.

I have an affliction and it is getting worse by the day.
I have noticed over the last couple of years that I grunt when I get out of bed (please note that this is a different kind of grunting that might take place before I get out of bed). I have ignored it so far but of late it is getting louder and longer. This is coupled with the realisation that I am also starting to make noises at other times of the day. These are not to be confused with 'talking at oneself' which I have done for years and am perfectly comfortable with. These noises are soft groans and grunt-like moans when bending down or getting out of a comfy chair.
I am 45 in January so please don't tell me it is my age. Everything is working, bending, moving normally and the last time I looked all me marbles were in place.
So, please help and don't try and fool me with gentle pats on the head to save my feelings - I want the truth!

If no one else is suffering from this then please ignore this request.

Thank you.

26 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

What's wrong with grunting? I do it all the time. It means you are discovering your inner gorilla (to add to your inner minx). Suddenly, I feel much closer to you.

Unknown said...

It is a return to the primeval being. It is a perfectly natural development in the process of evolution. The grunting is nothing to be concerned about, you are simply evolving to the next level of being.
Well, at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Unknown said...

Just how close are you exactly, GB?

Oh jeez, what's coming next, Abso?

Questions, questions.

Unknown said...

You're getting OLD, girl. I'm 45, and I grunt. Mind you, I am a spazzo after all!

Roberta said...

Let's see. I'm old enough to be your older sister. (51) I seem to remember through the fog that the grunting and groaning started at about 45.

Next come the knee creeks when you climb the stairs. Then the elbow cracks and lower back issues.

Do you really want me to go on?

You be fine. It's just that time of life!

Unknown said...

John G, I wish you wouldn't use that word but you are a gorgeous spazzo anyway!!

Oh thank fuck for that, Roberta, I thought I was broken!

Taffiny said...

You may perhaps be ever so slightly out of shape. I think I can say this freely because, I have experience with it myself. I noticed this summer, while playing back video footage I had taken from my garden, a great bit of huffing and puffing, and excessive breathing (when I would walk about, and bend down, and get back up again). It was horrible to think I could get winded doing so little (and could make noises like it was a great bit of effort to crouch down, and then to stand up again).
I got a digital camera now, so I don't notice the noise so it can't bother me anymore. (problem solved)
You need to keep the radio on, or buy a small noisy pet, thus effectively blocking out any noises you may make. (I know for a fact that siamese cats are very noisy and like to follow people around.)

Unknown said...

(puffs cheeks and puts hands on hips!)
I AM NOT OUT OF SHAPE, Taff. I maybe couldn't run a marathon but I can run down the shop for a pint of milk (if forced at gunpoint, bribed with luxury chocolate etc).
I am not sure I understand about the digital camera bit but I fully understand the usefulness of small noisy pets. The only trouble is I wouldn't be able to hear above the sound of the family anyway. So will someone buy me some ear muffs or a remote island for Christmas please?

Leslie Hawes said...

I, for the life of me, couldn't figure out how the dog knew that I was going to go outside.
There he'd be at the door, ready to go out. I thought he was reading my mind.
What he was doing was listening to the noises I made getting out of the chair.
I didn't notice the noises at all, until I tried to figure out how the dog was such a good guesser.

Then I "heard" myself.

Pretty obvious. Kind of a prolonged ohhhh sound, not necessarily one of pain. More like a ooooof of exertion.

Yep. Old age.
Or is your dog just as smart as mine??

Pallav said...

not happened to me so far, but the occasional knee crack is always there...its something to do with the weather i'm sure :)

N

Rita said...

Your grunting & groaning & creaking & pulling yourself up has to do with being on the other-side of the hill. The downward side. The gravity is trying to get the best of me side. The sands of time have shifted side.

What are you options...
You can Screech & Claw your way back to the top like a harpy. Puddle yourself in a rocking chair or continue to be the wonderful light hearted & lilting person you are.

Unknown said...

That's it, Leslie, that's it! I make sort of oomph noises and the odd gnerrf and maybe an emh, but it's not old age, no definitely not.My dog would have to be an incredible psychic as he moved offworld last year and he wasn't very smart at the best of times!

Yes, weather, Nothingman, it must be any kind of weather, eh?


Oh Handmaiden, why does my head still think it's on the up? My body , on the other hand, is rapidly going south. Do you think these are southerly noises?

Debi said...

I have the answer. Stay in bed. Don't get out of that chair. You dropped something on the floor? Let it lie there ...

See? Lateral thinking. Comes with the wisdom of accumulated years ...

Unknown said...

You are so wise, Debi Alper, I bow to your greater (older - heh) knowledge.

Taffiny said...

video recorder has sound.
digital photo is a still and has no sound.

Unknown said...

The Irish stars come next, dear Minx - and you know what they are, don' ya - they are a lot of far tings...
I know this because I am agey-er than you... Sigh. Ah youth, another far ting.

Pants said...

Minxie

If I'd a choice, I'd never get up.

xxx

Pants

Unknown said...

Lazypants.

Anonymous said...

You're turning into your mother.

S. Kearney said...

My "noises" tend to be voluntary sighs - here we go again, what's this all about, oh dear how time flies, how will I get all this done; or sighs of relief, being content, relaxation. The involuntary "noises" haven't come yet. :-) Our body needs to communicate/speak up when we blab on to much and ignore it! :-)

Unknown said...

Hope not, Monsoon, mum's been in the Otherworld for five years!!!


Just be patient, Shameless, forty brings so many lovely things!

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear that,I liked her.

Anonymous said...

I go "hur! on reading web nonsense...

Unknown said...

Oooh, Mystery Monsoon, come out, come out!

Please tell me you didn't go 'hur' on my blog, Muts, I shall keep your 'lime greens' hostage if you did!!!

Anonymous said...

All will be reveiled in time,for now you may call me Humphrey Cushion.:-)

Nooy said...

24 and grunting...
you aughtta tell me the trick!