Monday, September 03, 2007

Munctious snogweasels and other irritations

I have an unremiteral hatred of people using the English language to try and gain social upstandiness with a word that they have plucked from some obscurious cell at the back of their socially inviolet brain. Nothing cloyds to my nerves more than hearing some complete twonk utter a sentence that is litterated with words that make the ears plead for understanding. Words that died a torvide death in 1492, or ones that no living creature has ever been able to master tonguewise with plausible missilitude.

Call me wicked, but there is a kind of persnivious joy in laying blent to people who think themselves betremental than you. Nothing beats the sheer upshoyedness of dropfiliating a snagbinding word into your bank manager's bulbantous vaultum just as he has denied the raising of ones overdraftation. Purviolators of glazing and toadylating sellers of insurance should be treated in a likewise manner.
The same can be applied to the munctious snogweaseling supplier of telephonic services when the tit refuses to allow you to wriggle free of the hockbound contractum that he caught you so gutterally with in the first place.

So try it. A carefully placed blitch of a word will soon have him grobulating at ones feet, offering grapes, and similar items of luxurial empelishment, honouring your vast brainial cavity and worshipping the very eartherial blanket that you perambulase upon.

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(disclaimer - no proper words were hurt during the making of this blog post)

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37 comments:

L.M.Noonan said...

Gulp.
I vow to always carry a dictionary with me wherever I go. No one's ever going to think I'm a simpleton again.
Thanks for the tip miny

c.s. said...

you hurt me. i need a hug.

The Moon Topples said...

A scumprenious post, Minx, cromulently argued and phosteringly readingable. You have enwizened me to a topic which should have been forefronted in my brain since I consider myself somewhat impretorial.

Know that you have my support in this jurcuristic matter.

Poetess said...

Are you sure they were not hurt when you swallowed that dictionary??

Poetessxxx

Gorilla Bananas said...

Snogweasel! That's not something I'd recommend. It would be too squirmbitacious.

Cailleach said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! I enjoyed this very much Minx. Supercalifragilisticexpialidociously

John said...

I don't know..if munctious isn't a word--and it doesn't seem to be, much to my surprise--it should be.

Now we just need a precise definition...

gregra&gar said...

absurdlutely bullarious

Minx said...

Please don't carry around this particular dictionary, LM, you may get arrested.

Hurt, CS?

I thought maybe this post was too far up its own assential crusp, MT. Impretorialism should be considered advantageous in this world that we habitualate - celebrate it.

I say again with possilitude, Poetess.

GB, snogweaseling should never be done for sport but do I sense a saucepoterie in your words?

Your mirthmation is noted, Cailleach.

I have looked it up, Carver, but it is not even in that biblacious of all dictionaries the Grandiloquent! Maybe it is just one of those words.....

Thank you G&G, you are quite bullarious yourself!

That's so pants said...

Minx!

You've outdone yourself here. I'm not even going to try as Mr Moon Topples has literised far more empathemiously than I could ever aspirate. I hope GW Bush is surferious right now. There are lessonizations here that might assistuate him.

xxx

Pants

Jon M said...

What's a bank manager?

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

That approach doesn't work here. They simply look at you blankly and say "Huh? Can you speak inglish pleez." That includes that heinous creature the bank manager.

Verilion said...

Ah that most berkeous of berks the banker! And telephoneous problems, don't get me started!

john.g. said...

Minx, don't talk shit, tell it how it is! xx

soubriquet said...

I am fleambound with spontrifflicude.
Please send me a copply of your diccutrony.

Anonymous said...

Scrotum!

An old "friend"(?)

mutleythedog said...

Are you caught in a telephone contract?

Minx said...

Jon, a bank manager is the pissmidget who steals yer lovely goldycoinage.

You are not trying hard enough, Aty.

Please get started V, it could be funtastical.

I like talking shit, John G.

I haven't written it yet, Mr Soub, you will have a signaged copply as soon as one's fingulator is out of one's assporthole.

And bollock-type greetos to you too, formerish friend(?)

No, Mutley, why on earth would my perfectly clear post make you think that? I am contractually unlinkated at present. Thank you for asking.

Dictional Directoratum of all things Codswallopish said...

Munctious - adj: an irritating feeling that affects the groinage area when in contact with foul beastliness.
From the latin - Munctilatum (see piss midget above)

Taffiny said...

oh dear, you seem to be recommending thinking, on ones feet, no less, much harder than walking and chewing gum at the same time. I find it best to just hang up on them, no thinking in that act, rather a thoughtless act, but one which so pleases me.

This whole thing reminds me, I hate it when I come across a word in a book, but can't find it in any of my dictionaries. Fosters in me the strange ambition to have a gianormous dictionary with every single word ever stuffed inside.

leslie said...

Oh, I may be in love!

Minx said...

Not sure that you would find any of these words stuffed anywhere except under a bed, Taff. Probably the best place for them in the cold lightliness of day.

In love, Leslie? Is this instantessial love or more of the pot boilerage type, pray tell.

Roberta said...

Your splediferous use of verbotious verbage leaves me in angust.

I must reiterate myself and begin studying various langistics to make my cerebral muscalis septic to their uses.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

That was like walking through a Websters private candy store in Willy Wonkas wonderful factory.

thank you! I quite enjoyed it!


Scarlett & V.

CS - here's a big hug for you OOOO.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

PS

Missed being here very much, it's nice to visit again.

Scarlett

leslie said...

Minx, It is the epiglotious type of love. Your wane of words waxed prosethical to my auditorium orbs. May I stop by and listen a while?

Cailleach said...

Cor, innit amazin what bollix people talk sumtimes...?

Minx said...

I hope you are not too long in Angust, Roberta, I have heard that the rainy season is rather, um, rainy.

More like 'B' wing, Scarlett!
Is C.S still tearyatious?

Glad to hear, Leslie, love is globacical. You may point yer earmounds here anytime.

What bollix, Cailleach? I see no bollix.

Saaleha said...

fabulously minxy! Thanks for the giggle. And the homework. Now where the devil is that dictionary?

mutleythedog said...

Well then never mindify yourself - its all just a case of laughamalating...

Minx said...

Be liberated, Saaleha, throw about that foul, devily dictionary.

Be careful, Muts, I have heard that laughamalating can cause hernoids. See a doctor.

Mu Tai Dong said...

Language then the language - comprehensive?

Vesper said...

Beautiful words in this post, Minx! I love them all!

trollop23 said...

I was most flummoxified by the verbaciocity of your plenteous vernactastic palavery.
Eloquishery wishery to your brainy morphemery!

Minx said...

Ever the voice of reason, Mu Tai. I have missed your babelaciousnous.

Thank you, Vesper, but I have to say that my most favourite word ever (apart from 'fucknobbin') is being worn by Trollop just below you.

Hello, Trollop! You have a way with words and are very welcome.

basest said...

minx,
i loved this post. it was good. it made me think of cheese. and wine. those are good things, too.

dress boot said...

Sometimes it depend upon the country different pitch and tone.