Felicitations for the season of glitz and glamour.
May your stockings be filled, your turkey well-stuffed, your nuts roasted to perfection and any other seasonal innuendo you can can think of.
Joy to the world, peace on earth and a large box of chocolates, please.
Please excuse me for a couple of days whilst I come to terms with the trees I have murdered, attend to making a meal worthy of a heart attack and comfort my weeping credit card.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good damn night.