Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Wuss








I took my morning cup of tea outside yesterday morning, settled down for a quick read and there it was. That tang, that je ne sais quoi that hovers in the air announcing that summer is nearly at an end. This can only mean one thing to a wuss like me.....the start of 'The Season of the Spider!'

Better get a move on.......

Don't get me wrong, I love nature, in all its forms, but I just wish that nature had neglected to create things with more than four legs that move in sinister ways.

A few years ago, after a particularly nasty incident involving a renegade arachnid, I decided to take some positive steps. A friend, who had thought it funny to wave a spider in my face after she had picked the horror off the floor, had ended up with vomit all over her lovely new shoes - something had to be done!

I spent the money, and did my time with a hypno-priestess who convinced the inner, Inner Minx that one only has to breathe out in order to conquer ones irrational ideas. It works - to an extent. I can now look at a spider without all my bodily fluids escaping and I can do brave things like placing a pot over said beastie should he venture past my blockades.

So, yesterday was spent in a frenzy of pre-autumnal cleaning and all skirting boards, windows, doorframes sprayed with my 'don't come nowhere near here' concoction of chestnut and clover. I can't kill them you see, they're only little, harmless really - except that big bastard in the downstairs loo who deliberately waits until I'm.................

16 comments:

skint writer said...

downstairs loo - posh minx

Marie said...

Join the club! I'm absolutely terrified of spiders. I'm alright when they're still, but when they start to move those legs I start to panic. I've noticed that they seem to be getting larger too.

Marie said...

Forgot to mention - I've used chestnut and clover too but it seems to bring the bastards out and in the end there were spiders everywhere! (OK, slight exaggeration, but there were more spiders than I usually saw).

I'm using something to cure my phobia right now. I'll post details on my blog later.

Minx said...

Very posh Skint - it used to be the coal bunker!

I'm intrigued Marie - always up for a cure. Have you got one for curing Water Bill phobia, missed one payment and the twats want to take me to court! Grrrrr....

Debra Hamel said...

Your friend deserved the vomit! I'm blogging about spiders right now myself over at the deblog.

Atyllah said...

There is a view, in Vietnam, I think, that says arachnids make a tasty snack. If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em. Eeeewww!

Minx said...

Debra, I'm me way to have a peep at your blog from behind a cushion!!

And that is why Atyllah, I am very definitely vegetarian at this precise moment. Besides the little legs would get stuck between your teeth!!
Ugh, gonnna be sick - again!

dovegreyreader said...

Ah yes, Bert Alert time.We rate on a scare factor of 1-10 which gives my husband an idea of how fast he must move to remove.Always reciting that stupid rhyme from his Auntie Joyce as he goes to find them, If you want to live and thrive...
I'm sorry but if it's between me and them they go up the hoover.
I'm much much much worse about mice though, much worse.

Minx said...

My sister can't cope with moths, which is just totally stupid! And I'd rather deal with a iddy biddy mouse than a rat.

Oh and don't suck them up in the hoover, they'll come back and get you in another life - I know these things!

Lee said...

Out of deference to your finer feelings, Minx - and to keep vomit from clogging the new pooter - I will most definitely not tell you my African spider stories. Suffice it to say that I'm well and truly inoculated, and now find the northern European varieties quite sweet. I usually name all the babies Jezebel.

Minx said...

Sweet? Not a word that I would use in the same sentence as 'spider'.

The one in the loo is referred to as 'The Horror'but he looks a bit smaller than he did - perhaps he's a Jezebel!

Gabriele C. said...

I have a weird relation to spiders. On the one side I find them fascinating, love to watch spider documentaries on TV or the creepy crawlies outside my window, but the moment they get into the flat, I want a suit like those astronauts when they repair the space shuttle. Usually, it's poison spray and vacuum cleaner for them then.

Hate cobewebs, too. Disgusting, icky, sticky things.

And I never watched the Shelob scenes in the LOTR movie, now that one is too big even for my fascination with tarantula documentaries. ;)

Cailleach said...

the girls spotted one on the upstairs landing hall the other day. I shooed them away, amidst some girly screams, telling them that he'd bugger off in a while.

Funny that I called him a he - he was very, very big.

Minx said...

I don't want any kind of relationship to spiders Gabriele, but tarantulas are too big to be spiders - mice with 8 legs!

They are always he's, and they are always big, especially when there is no one in the house to save me!!

Debi said...

Yet another thing we have in common, babe. Can't be in the room with them. Can't kill them. Definitely but DEFINITELY can't eat them.

Have been known to knock on doors/make phone calls/run into street in order to find someone to deal with one.

Am currently training Little Guy who can pick them u ... No, can't even say it ...

日月神教-向左使 said...

AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,性愛,正妹牆,情色視訊,愛情小說,85cc成人片,成人貼圖站