YEAR ELEVEN'S THIS IS NOT BITE-SIZED ENGLISH!
Alliteration - lascivious liberal litterings left lovingly lonesome.
Orality - boing words.
Cliche - avoid this old chestnut like the plague.
e.g (exempli gratia) - a fee example.
i.e (id est) - what I mean is...
etc (et cetera) - blah, blah, blah.
Capitals - standy out kind of words (also denotes shouting).
Homonyms - words of the same sex.
Grammar - clever writing.
Double negatives - do not use none of these not ever.
Noun - proper, common, abstract, collective kinds of things.
Pronoun - a professional noun.
Split infinitives - try not to ever split them up.
Tense - past, present and future tension.
Verbs - has got to agree with their subjects
Dialect - local yokel speak.
Idiolect - as above with added sociolinguistic and cultural distinction (hah, weren't expecting that were you?)