Thursday, November 30, 2006

Knowing your onions

Yes, I know my onions (look here).

You, as ordinary people, have no knowledge of onions and don't dare think that you do. Even though you may use the onion everyday it does not give you the right to express an opinion about them.

My thoughts about onions are well publicised, printed in all the best culinary books. I mix with the cream of onion appreciators, talking onions all day long, whilst you dabble about with the inferior shallots(here) and pickling onions(here). Do not possibly think that you know more than me about the revered allium - I have degrees in the subject. How could you think, or even contemplate, that you would know more than me, or share my enthusiasm for them?

I am skilled in the onion department and you know this now because I am telling that I do. Do not try to form your own opinion and please refrain from talking onions with any other amateur enthusiasts - it can only lead to onion revolution.

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Unknown said...

Just tell me this - how do you deal with onion breath and post onion farts? Just wonderin'...

Unknown said...

Is this really about onions?

Or, is it part of the greater movement that will become known as the War of the Onion Ring, and may well be later filmed by Peter Jackson?

Anonymous said...

Call yourself an expert in all things onion? Why you are fraud, methinks! Any true onionphile would have ended the post with "...and that's shallot!"