Saturday, October 25, 2008

Wave yer knickers in the air (or not)

I went shopping yesterday. I was just debating over the twenty items that I had tried on when a woman came into the changing room (it was one of those communal thingies). On the outside she looked more than smart but as she got down to the last layer it became apparent that she did not worship at the altar of respectable underwear.


The revolting black bra looked as if it had been chewed by the cat, the hamster, and the budgie and was only marginally better than the knickers that had turned from original white to washing machine baggy bummed yurk.
I am not given to staring at womens underwear in public but my mother is responsible for my OCD about underwear. Her rules were simple...

a) Underwear should match.
b) It should not contain safety pins - ever.
c) Jeans and t-shirt are not an excuse to dress down underneath.
d) Clean knickers are essential - you may get run over by a bus (I spent a lot of my youth looking out for rogue buses).

So, I am holding the hope that women still want to look like women underneath....

...until the day that I find someone to share these with...

pee ess - the rules apply to men as well. Don't think you can get away with those revolting items just because they are comfortable!

Oh, and in case you were wondering I was buying more underwear!


Unknown said...

Yep, some peoples' underwear just has to be stared at as though it's a road accident. Blergh! Your mother's rules were spot on!

Sharon J said...

Hmmm... I haven't worn a bra all week (and they ain't perky, believe me!) and the bright orange knickers I have on today are a bit on the baggy side (well I've lost a lot of weight recently and am down to my old pile cos I'm having trouble getting all the bloody washing dry!). However, I NEVER wear underwear that's washing machine grey. Whites should only ever be washed with whites and that's a rule I WILL NOT BREAK!

My mum always warned me about buses too!

Unknown said...

Mum was right about so many things, Vanilli!

Sharon, do you think buses were more dangerous years ago? Maybe they had a radar that could spot bad underwear.
pee ess - I'm not going to comment on the bra-lessness (shivers).

Debi said...

Oh you beast! You promised not to post that photo of me!

Roberta said...

Fundies give new meaning to having ones knickers in a knot. ;)

Mom always warned me about buses too! Must have been an early terrorist thingy.

Yodood said...

Usually the clothes on the outside are superfluous, and I'm supposed to have another layer for style. Civilization certainly has weird priorities!

Admin said...

My underthings don't always match...but I am very particular about what I purchase.

Unknown said...

Nice undies. Someone should've told my mum. She used to boil her's in a pot on the stove. I kid you not!

Anonymous said...

How does one go about trying on Fundees in the dressing rooms?
And is it one size fits all?

Unknown said...

Ah, all is revealed, Miss Debi von Alper!

The thought of communal panties actually makes me a bit queasy, Roberta. Underwear is mine, mine, MINE!

There are times and places to go commando, Yodood.

It's very simple, Vesper, just imagine lying in hospital and the staff are discussing your mis-matched undies!

Boiled! Underwear is not lobsters, Babs (that just may have been my statement of the year!).

Apparently, Leslie. It may be fun trying them out!

petra michelle; Whose role is it anyway? said...

hahaha, Minx! This is hilarious but true. So wear clean underwear in case of an accident is a worldwide obsession, eh? I'm not a
fashionista, but I do feel better
when I'm somewhat put together, even when it comes to underwear.
I see your magick bean worked! :))

Jannie Funster said...

Coming from someone whose french-cut undies usually end up as a thong, I've reverted to a waist-to-knee type cotton girdle.

haven't had a wedgie since my wedding day!

fatboysblogg said...

I change mine once a week whether they need it or not.

Unknown said...

My magick bean always works, Petra (winx).

Jannie, you are a sexpot!

FB, gonna be sick now....

bulletholes said...

I just started wearing these boxer briefs things.
They make me look HUGE!
I wore em to the mailbox yesterday, the ones with the Dogbones on 'em.
Got chased by a female Rottweiler.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...


You always have the best posts.
My sides are aching; I've laughed so much.

Yes, underwear must match, it is an essential rule.

The part your mum may have left out about the bus is this:

We should always wear matching, clean and lovely underwear for several reasons, not the least of which is that IF we are hit by a bus and are consequently rushed to the hospital, the handsome doctor who takes care of us will be appreciative of the efforts we've made.

The other reasons are all obvious.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

PS ~ my word verification is "for gin"... not kidding. ;o) how apropos.

Unknown said...

What looks huge, Bullets (I think I am already regretting asking that)?

Of course, Scarlett, handsome doctors should always be presented with a tidy set of underwear.
Did you say gin?

bulletholes said...

Mi corazon esta mui grande!

For you I'd wear my ones with the Crayfish on them....if you ticle the one in the middle, he turns into a lobster!

You like Lobster, yes?
Hi Minxy!

Sharon J said...

Definitely. The buses round our way run down at least two kids with dirty knickers on every week. I know that's true cos my mum told me and she never lies.

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