Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The economy of truth

I waved madly as Big Fecker's plane disappeared into the fog and made my way out of our local 'international' airport with a scowl on my face.

I AM NOT A LIAR. No, no, I was just not elaborating on certain facts.

"I just hope it goes smoothly." he said earlier, as we waited at the check-in.
I desisted from pointing out the meccano sets that are used to fix the darling little planes and made no mention of the rope burns he would sustain in order to get the plane aloft.
"You'll be fine." I said, employing my best mum-knows-best voice, but the truth is that I am not terribly well travelled. I've hopped about Europe a bit and explored many different modes of transport but have never done what my fecker has done.
I have flown - plane, helicopter, hot air balloon, into a rage, but I have never done it on my own and here I was convincing him that 'firsts' are always exciting. Liar, liar, drawers on fire!

The phone call from my eighteen-year-old tonight in deepest Germany, let me know in a very confident voice that flying was amazing and that everything was cool and what was I worried about?
So was omitting the facts a good idea, or should I have confessed that his mother is a chicken shit?

Ah well, I haven't told him about the bargain ticket I managed to get for the return journey. What do you think? More lies?

.

27 comments:

john.g. said...

First! You liar, he's not eighteen!

fatboysblogg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sharon J said...

One of my little ladies was just 12 when she flew for the first time alone. The airline kindly allowed me to board the plane with her to make sure she was settled before take off. Believe me, I know all about 'putting on a brave face'. I cried buckets when I got off, but then I knew I wouldn't be seeing her for another 6 months.

Then, at 15, she managed to miss a connection in Denmark and was stranded without an ongoing flight. Oh, the stress!!

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

What a clever mum you are!

He'll be fine, of course. You said so yourself.


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

rdg said...

Now you're stealing images from my iPhoto files ?????

What other secrets do you have hidden up that sleeve of yours ????

Omitting the facts - INDEED ....

Roberta said...

That picture is priceless. It gave me quite a good giggle!

Minx said...

I am probably not as sparing with the truth as I would like to think. A friend reminded me that her son came in from the garden with a 'minor' cut.
"I think he has tried self amputation," I said "perhaps hospital would be a good idea?"
As she ran around the kitchen screaming and looking for body parts she accused me of trying to make him hysterical!!

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

Lies? What lies? Those weren't lies, they were necessities - kind of a rose by any other name...
Yes, well.

L.M.Noonan said...

My oldest f****r made the first solo flight at the tender age of six. I was studying in Tasmania and he wanted to spend his school holidays with my mother. Since then he has really chocked up the air mileage; some as holidays in exotic destinations others during the years that he worked as an air steward. Tommorow morning he's off to Vancouver indefinately. I've said more teary goodbyes in the 36 years since he evacuated my womb than I can remember, but it doesen't get any easier. This time he may not come back because love beckons. What can you do?

Minx said...

Thanks, Vanilli, but if you are lying about how big my bum is I might have to dig yer eye out with a blunt spoon.

Oh shit, Noony, you mean it gets worse!!

leslie said...

For one who is worried about children in flight, you picked a fine illustration!

handmaiden said...

Loved the photo. Just the kind of crap boys of that age like to pull.
Man! If my mother knew what my little brothers had been up to at that age, setting fires in the driveway & torturing the chickens.
My own son has told me some hair raising tales of his own experiences at that age, involving propane tanks, fireworks, & *shudder* firearms. Thank God I kept him away from the pornography.

Debi said...

Flying the nest, eh?

Or just impersonating a squashed fly on a windscreen ...

Lee said...

It's an odd thing. I have no interest in online communities - and yet here I am, with BF acting like a model guest. He's even volunteered to do some weeding. Can I keep him?

Minx said...

I wasn't worried about him flying, Leslie, just that he was doing the whole lot for the first time on his own. I have a lot worse pictures of planes but I hid them from him.

Handmaiden, it was only when my dad was dying that I confessed that when I was about ten I used to swing out over our local quarry on a very ancient bit of rope.
"Yes, I know" he said.

I see you have flown back to yours for a while, Debi. Next stop....me!! I'll get the kettle on.

Minx said...

Eeek, you sneaked in when I wasn't looking, Lee!
I didn't like to tell the world that BF was camping at your house.
What did you say? Model guest? Weeding? I think you might have the wrong person. I sent over that pierced lout, tatty head, sleeps a lot, hoards 'things' under his bed - which Fecker have YOU got?

And no, you can't keep him, I miss him. Please send him back on Tuesday with some of that nice chocolate!

BarbaraS said...

So, you've sent off the BFG to Germany to weed someone else's garden? Maybe that's what I should do with the six of mine. Any takers, anyone..?

Debi said...

He's arriving home on Tues? Sounds like an auspicious date to me.

He does understand about the chocolate, doesn't he?

Minx said...

You're already invited, Babs - the weeding would be a bonus though!

Of course he understands about the chocolate, Debi - he's live with ME for 18 years!
Tuesday? Tuesday? Oh yes, nearly forgot that you and the tribe are coming (heh!) - bring yer wellies - it's raining, again!

bulletholes said...

you are funny in a Quasimodo sort of way/.

fatboysblogg said...

Suns out here.

Minx said...

Are you flirting with me, Bullets???

Make the most of it, FB, we are due to be washed off the end tomorrow!

fatboysblogg said...

Bugger

Reading the Signs said...

My big fecker is a couple of years older than yours. I get chicken whenever he travels anywhwere! Not that I would admit to this - one has to keep up appearances and people think I'm dead cool. Except when I'm in an anxiety state. Nothing wrong with a bargain ticket though, is there? Is there?

Minx said...

Signs, I think we might have missed the 'dead cool' boat. I sort of aim for 'reasonably accepted in public apart from the kissing'.

Lee said...

Please be specific about the chocolate, BF seems rather vague: pralines? rich milk? Ritter Sport in 57 varieties? Luscious Lindt dark with tang of chilli & tropical fruits (amzing stuff)?

Check my blog soon for secret photos.

Minx said...

Yes please, the darker the better! Yum.