Monday, August 27, 2007

The Fridge

Once there was a lonely shelf

enough to hold some cheese

a pint of milk,

a couple of eggs,

and a tiny box

in which to freeze

a loaf of bread

a packet of peas


One became two,

enough to fit

baby bottles

and all the kit

that extra feckers

need to squeeze

in growing bodies

that grew more than a bit


A two-storey cold house

we managed to kill,

pack lunches,

leftovers -

no where to chill

the half eaten sandwich,

a half drunk drink,

that bottle of wine

that remained half filled


We blew up one fridge

and then another.

Cling-filmed dishes

were threatening to smother

more than ketchupped chips

(now covered)

drowning in snacks as

the food took over


Then, one day

the Goddess sighed, and

five foot three of

storage arrived.

Enough to house

an elephant steak

two horses, a rhino

vegetables of size.

Beautiful too

a froidian winner;

I love my fridge

and all that’s inner.



Unknown said...

I know, stupid poem - I was pissed. What can I say?

Roberta said...

An Ode to the Fridge. I must write something about my dishwasher some time. :::grin:::

Unknown said...

Maybe you could start storing your shoes in that beast!

Unknown said...

That's a BIG fridge, loads of booze in it, or was in it!

Unknown said...

'White goods' poetry - sounds good to me, Roberta.

Are you mad, Verilion? They might get cold.

Big fridge for big bottles and a separate freezer for the big ice cubes! Whoo hoo! Food, what food?

Vesper said...

I shall borrow this as an Ode to my fridge, Minx, if you don't mind. :-) I'm also pissed. We were doing pretty fine with one fridge for quite a while, but now we have two and they're not enough!

Taffiny said...

Makes me think of my Nana. She had her regular fridge. Then she had one down the hall (in a room we called "the other side" for some reason), then she had the big storage freezer downstairs. And she also had a fridge in what we called the picnic porch. After college I lived with them for a while (my grandparents and all the fridges), I even had gotten my own fridge for in the basement. One summer, my Nana was having a party (family reunion) and she asked if she could use some space in my fridge (now mind you I was an ungrateful child at the time), I couldn't believe it, "My god woman, (I basically said) how many refrigerators does one person need?".

The point of my over-long story? I come from a line of women who have at least two fridges. I feel a general lack of abundance at having just the one.
So by all means, do happily embrace the space in your fridge.

I suppose it is a rather american trait, this collecting of fridges?

Sorry-I am noticing I am on a bad trend of writing very long comments on other people's blogs, must go about writing on own blog, or working on actual story work to correct this. Before it becomes habit.

Unknown said...

We Limey's (I speak for the whole country, of course)used to laugh at you Merkan's and your big oversized, overnumbered frigidaire's. Somewhere along the line we got electric, and hunger, and developed a taste for cold beer.

I am glad you're pissed, Vesper(I hope you mean the English 'pissed' and not Merkan 'pissed' which is 'pissed off' in English, although we sometimes say 'pissed' when we are annoyed about something.The correct term, of course id 'pissed up' but you can also said ''pissed up against a wall' meaning to wee up a wall, which is a male form of entertainment.Confused? I am) - anyway, I'm not pissed (at, off or up) now - hah, hah, hah (smugly).

Anonymous said...

LOL, "all thats inner". I haven't had a new fridge ever. Wouldn't even be able to use it if one came new - I'd be too afraid I'd mess it up.

Unknown said...

From frigidare to pissed in onne whole conversation!

Nice fridge, minx!

Unknown said...

What, Kat? No new fridgey? Oh what a dreadful shame. You have obviously not suffered the fridge demons that have plagued mine. I also have gremlins in the iron, but I have a strange feeling that it may be me inadvertently hexing the fucking things.

I am not given to loving electrical goods, Cailleach, but....
Anyway, I have to love it, it cost me a fortune.

Jon M said...

Our slogan for many years was: 'We need a bigger fridge.'

Jon M said...

I've just guzzled a bottle of champagne...for no reason! but it was chilled in a big fridge!

Vesper said...

You've got me here, Minx! HA! HA! HA! I must've been really pissed or pissed-up to forget to also be pissed off... :-) Well, I guess it's not too bad to be pissed, one way or another, every now and then... :-) :-) :-)
Oh, I love this language!

Roberta said...

Thank you for the pissed definition. I thought you might be pissed at the old fridge.

Around these parts, we say, "Piss up a rope". Which means (in essence: F*** off).

I use it often and freely.

Unknown said...

Jon, I think my slogan used to be 'make mine a large one' but these days is more likely to be 'oh me feet are killing me'.

Vesper and Roberta,
let all types of language flow. Expressive language (come forward the sweary Mary's) is welcome, although not the 'c' word - I have a thing about that one, and it is not a nice thing.

Anyway, what am I doing here - look at the time.....

Poetess said...

Pissed or not. That was great.

I think fridges are like handbags, the bigger you buy, the more you fill them.


Gorilla Bananas said...

How old is that thing?

Unknown said...

I relate to the love of a fridge and an Ode to a Fridge is perfectly fitting. My fridge is celebrating it's 21st birthday - I thought of buying it a key - but it might lock me out! Then it would be an Ode to Woe is Me.

Unknown said...

I think you are right, Poetess, and I often get them mixed up.

Mr Banana's! How rude to ask a lady fridge her age (she's five).

Aty, are you going for some kind of record? I had a lightbulb once, that was at least 14 years old. Not much else electrical lasts that long.

S. Kearney said...

Good to see you're still in fine throttle, Minx! :) I am glad to be back with my fridge. Give me cold. Now! :)

Anonymous said...

I am glad to find you are still alive -

"Salmonella, anthrax in it packed
it was hygiene its sometimes lacked
But ecoli was the worst
as from its infected doors it burst..."

I' ll stop there...

Unknown said...

Full, throttle, fettle, style and form, Shameless. Nice to see you back and there is probably someone kind soul around here who can give you a cold, this weather has brought about a plague of lung rot. Hope your holiday was horrible and I don't want to hear about it - thank you.

Unknown said...

Ooh, Muts, you pushed in front of me - how rude!

Please don't stop, this poem has the makings of, of, of something memorable (I think).

"Salmonella, anthrax in it packed
it was hygiene its sometimes lacked
But ecoli was the worst
as from its infected doors it burst
leaving a trail of yellow and green
resembling Uncle Henry's gangrene
a host of other slimy clots
rubella, herpes and purple pox
so if you want to avoid the obscene
once in a while - give the fridge a clean

Unknown said...

No Minxy, not intentionally going for a record, just don't see the point of chucking out something that still works just as well as it did when I first left home. Bit averse to rank commercialisation and all that too, see - unless we're talking shoes...

Saaleha said...

And there I was thinking it's an Indian thing. All that Chicken Tikka masala has to go somewhere. btw, Kiran Desai says that it's the bestselling food in London?!

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

I liked it very much, big smile on my face Minx. And, I like the photo of your fridge.

I keep mine plastered with the artwork of any child who will donate it to the kitchen gallery.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Debi said...

Did you find the stray jar of mayo we left lurking in there?

Think it was 5th shelf down, left hand side, behind the crisper, bottle rack, egg-hole thing and fresh cow for milk.

Kate said...

Haha. Delightful!