"Oh yes please." I thought. I bloody hate grocery shopping and a tequila would be just the thing to get me through it, even if it was a bit early in the day.
It took me a while to realise that Tequila was in fact a stray child who I found a few minutes later trying dismantle a display of chocolate biscuits. I couldn't blame her, she obviously hated shopping as much as I did. Just as she was about to loosen the one box that would have brought the whole mountain down, her mother caught up with her and spoilt our fun.
As I watched Tequila being dragged off clutching her ears against the twenty decibel assault, I wondered what had possessed someone to call their child after a drink with a dubious worm in it. Did she have sisters named Martini or Sambuca, brothers, cousins with monikers enough to confuse a bartender?
I tried to imagine a 'Grandma Tequila', 'Great Aunt Tequila' and failed miserably. Did people think about the consequences of carrying around a name that could be ordered?
So what do names say about us? Naming a child is never easy - I know from experience. I like a slightly unusual name but working with children had put me off some. We had settled on two names for our planned only child and, umm, when our second child made his debut luckily the spare name was unisex.
Both the Feckers like their names but I know a number a people who have changed theirs as soon as it was legal ('Texas Bluesky' became a 'Leanna') but I have always been quite content with my own. I could have had fun with a more authorly name but someone had already bagged Mingus Windbottom and besides I have enough fun choosing names for my characters which is a far more logical process. I know these people before I name them. They are fully formed in both looks and personality and the name usually just plops into place.
So, anyway, I will not be applying for a job as the local registrar.
"Have you really thought about this? Do you think he looks like a Calvados Amaretto the Third, or were you just pissed out of your head when he was conceived?'.
"Axl, Axl? Are you mad, Mrs Rod?
"I'm sure 'Flight 291' was significant for you - but it may be a source of embarrassment to him when he is about 16."
Pee ess - the chocolate biscuits collapsed in a heap a few seconds after I passed and my Minx toe had nothing to do with it. Nothing at all!