I hate being cross, it makes me cross. Just had one of those days when it feels like you're wearing a coat of negativity.
1. The cat is sick - I stand in it with a bare foot.
2. A pair of blue shorts escapes into the white washing.
3. Late for work I fall over trying to get me drawers on and bash me knee.
4. The car takes on a 'Christine' type persona and locks me out. Have to sneak in the passenger door to fool it.
5. Making cakes with children at work and find some twat has pinched all the sugar and not replaced it.
6. Run to supermarket where I am attacked by a trolley in the back of the ankle. I refrain from headbutting my attacker as she has a scary child who is chewing the trolley handle with her gums.
7. Make cakes and then burn them. Cover with chocolate that behaves strangely in the microwave - coming out harder than it went in.
8. Workman sets alarm off and I can't find reset procedure - answer 5 calls from police ( an hour later? Well, thanks).
9. Come home to find dishes up to ceiling and lazy Feckers still in bed and a note saying that we are out of milk.
10. Attempt to lie down in darkened room but mad mowing maniac next door has other ideas.
Will try to complete my day without more mishaps. Surely I have had my fill of Friday the bloody 13th? Trying to smile now - through gritted teeth.