By the time I finished work I was starving but the thought of going home and cooking dinner was making my feet ache.
I am not very good at take-away, I would rather leave-it-there, but my laziness got the better of me and I went off in search of ready cooked food.
My town has the usual sprinkling of fast food, well, not so fast in the case of the Chinese, I think they probably wanted my order last Wednesday week so I crossed them off me list.
MacDonald's? Absolutely not. Kebab then. No, can't do that either. I can only face the pole- dancing lamb shavings when I am on the way home from a night out
Next to the Kebab shop is the dodgy looking 'Chicken Shop' run by the Turkish owners of the Kebab shop. The smell of all that fried chicken usually makes me want to heave and I send in one of the Feckers to collect the order but with no Fecker in sight I was doomed. The strange little hovel that sells Mexican thinks that no one eats before nine and the pizza place had a queue halfway down the road.
The trouble is that when you are vegetarian, takeaway food sort of loses its appeal. I really fancied an Indian. They do gorgeous veggie food but the Multi-Balti had a mysterious kind of fire and has been closed for six months. It was no good, I had to settle for a good old fish supper.
Our chip shops are all traditional, meaning traditionally you can only purchase food that has been deep fried, or kept warm for four hours. This includes sausages (naked or dressed - meaning in batter or not), pea fritters (peas in batter), cod (fish in batter), deep fried chicken (tasting of fish) and anything else that can be safely dipped in vats of boiling oil. I am thankful to say that a Glaswegian Mars (deep fried mars bars) have failed to catch on, but it is said that you can order one on the quiet.
To take the edge off your fried delights you can have a pickled egg, gherkin or a saveloy to help the whole meal down. Personally I prefer a cup of tea without the meal.
I ordered two portions of cod and chips and a side order of mushy peas for the meat eaters. A veggie burger for the Big Fecker who can stomach those frozen cakes made of unidentifiable beans. And me? I made do with a portion of chips as I think I had already inhaled enough fat to last my hips a lifetime.