A while ago, bad mother that I am, I tried to sell me Big Fecker....
Description of product:- A bargain priced, man-sized Big Fecker!!
Appearance - Large hairy type, pierced eyebrow, scruffy head with a wicked pair of eyes.
Sex - definitely male and already displaying the immature traits of his sire.
Hormone status - raging
Habits - nocturnal but has been know to rise mid-afternoon to answer the call of a wave.
Beerpig status - still maturing, practises frequently
Hair gel consumption - high
Phone card - high
Water use - low
Food intake - sporadic and poorly timed
A BF comes with free accessories:- unmade bed, 90% of all household coffee cups and aromatic washing that hasn't seen the light of day for six months.
Add-ons - This model comes with 'The Big Fecker Social Club' - attachments of varying styles who make themselves at home anywhere and are also able to sleep on anything.
The Big Fecker Maintenance Kit - Gas mask, Barbeque tongs (for sock fishing) ,Odour eliminator spray
BUY NOW - AND RECEIVE ANOTHER IDENTICAL MODEL IN THREE YEARS TIME.
Well, Little Fecker, has come to maturity sooner than expected so I am now offering a
'buy one get one free' deal.
The Little Fecker model comes with his own language, his own smell, and a drawer full of dubious looking 'comics', (not that I've had a close look).
Anyway, hurry, hurry, this offer ends somewhere at the end of puberty, which should be about the time they decide to leave home.