Call me a vulgarian, but when the weather is drawky there is nothing I like better than to sit down like a shumpgullion, with a muggety pie and a book of dildrums.*
What happened to all those lovely dildrums, those old interesting words that have long since passed from our mouths? Words that rolled off the tongue like 'conbobberation', 'clunch' and 'snoodle', sounding vaguely rude and adding a richness to our language.
Today's words are policed by political correctness and influenced by the technology that has taken over our lives.
I say bring back all those gorgeous, tongue lubricating words. We could hold a mafficky, dress like dollymops and indulge in cataglottism in celebration of long lost codswallop!
*The modern version
Call me a slut, but when the weather is shite there is nothing I like better than to sit down like a lazy-arsed so-and-so, with a bad-ass pie and a book of complete rubbish.