1. Choose a name that suits your personality. 'Morwenna Fluffybunkins' or 'Naomi Nappybuyer' gives the reader an idea of exactly what they are in for.
2. Also choose a name that takes up most of a comments box - less to worry your pretty head about when actually dropping a comment.
3. Fill your blog with flowers, hearts and small furry creatures and let the world know that you care.
4. Never talk about religion, politics or wanking - these are are part of the male domain and should be avoided at all costs.
(now, do you think I've got the fluffy pictures right?)
4. Never talk about religion, politics or wanking - these are are part of the male domain and should be avoided at all costs.5. You can talk about the more intimate details of childbirth - it is a fascinating subject and should be treated with the seriousness it deserves.
6. Hobbies should be shared with the world. Post plenty of pictures and that way you don't have to worry about sentences making sense
7. Mention your menstrual cycle often, some periods of your life should not be kept a mystery. The male population is entitled to know exactly when you are off your rocker and a warning sign could be added to the head of the post.
(now, do you think I've got the fluffy pictures right?)
19 comments:
Thanks for the laugh - I needed it!
Minx, is it possible you now have too much time on your hands? Just askin'...
For the first time, I'm speechless.........
You Roberta? Speechless? I think not. Join in with Marie, she's got right idea!
And yes jta, tis possible, but it is Saturday. I am being good and blogging in between cleaning, or is it the other way around - never quite sure!
That first one in the blue jumper is terrifying!!!! I clicked away out of fear that he'd come to life and jump out of my monitor!!!
(awfully sorry if he is your most favoured kittie! and if he is - nice knitting).
Minx, er, I dunno. I'm worried. What's wrong? Okay, I know all men are bastards and that...but, I dunno, I thought you had it in your heart to forgive us.
Is it because you're now a famous writer? Is that why you're changing? You used to be one of us. Now, I dunno, Minx, pleaase don't become bitter. Don't change. Don't leave us all behind. I liked it when you were a nobody, worthless, devoid of ideas, downtrodden, a hopeless case, a failure with a heart of gold.
Please, don't change. It fucks up things for the rest of us.
Pund, for goodness sake, pull yourself together. Do I LOOK like I've changed, well, do I?
My blog has had a bit of a makeover I admit, but nothing else has changed. Not a bit. Still the same old, common old, hopeless, useless me! Better now?
Between you and me Pundy babe, I'm not sure how long I'm going to keep this tiara on though. It is digging into me head something rotten!
Prima Donna!
....or is it Madonna, or maybe Maradonna? Belladonna? Donna Summer? Doner Kebab? Donner und Blitzen? Don Quixote? Don Johnson?
Going now...run out of "Donna's"
Unless it's donnaknowwhatI'maonaboutanymore
Confucious, for goodness sake, pull yourself together. Do I look like a Donna?
Now pack in in and donna give me no more grief, either of you!
the pics were perfect. And don't you just love blogs that do this??! Pity there are so few of them. I think it's because there e\are so many women around thinking that they have something to 'say'. Sigh, no cure for delusion.
Yes - a fascinating exercise into the sociological impact of women's psychology and the global interface with the mothering instinct rising inexorably to the surface when resonating with the attraction of small furry animals.
For the male version of this important research, may I direct readers to the site of Confucious Trevaskis - who, by an amazing coincidence - has also just published a post featuring cats.
Professor Debiaskiya Alperotskoy Blogovskiovich is the author of such works as 'Super furry animals and their effects of precipitation in Dulwich' and was co-author on the acclaimed paper 'I'm just a bit of fluff really'.
You've obviously Googled this clearly brilliant professor - bet you didn't notice her name is similar to mine and there's even a regional connection! Gosh - what a coincidence.
Really Debi? Didn't notice, but the strangest coincidence is that she is working on a book called 'Me, John, and a big pink fluffy rabbit'.
I think you're wrong about the wanking. You should include it, as it will give you the edge over other female bloggers. Maybe you could accompany it with talk of farts as well. This recipe will guarantee an enormous readership... of men.
Can I give some advice on the aesthetics of your 'new look' blog, or would I be considered a cheeky ----!? I'll take your silence as a sign of assent. Well... I find it really painful to read your otherwise excellent posts due to the strange colour combinations of font and background.
By the way, how did I miss YOU?
I am black and there is nothing more to say - so piss off Don!
You missed me? Already?
Magick word verification says 'Stifpoo' - so right, don't you think?
It's an unusual and amusing word verification I must admit, but I would find the less polite, 'Stiffshit' funnier.
Nothing less than I would expect Don!
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