Thursday, October 05, 2006

Marlene or Minnie?

The new orchard at work is nearly finished. Today I wandered over to the fence and peered in as the new turf was laid over the raised spirals that will eventually be planted with fruit trees by the children.
A large and testosterone fuelled gardener, with tattoos covering his visible parts, was digging just in front of me.
'Looks great,' I said 'a bit like *Teletubbie land.'
'Yes,' he said 'it's been hard work but I think that the kids will enjoy it.'
A sensible, intelligent reply I hear you say, but unfortunately I was struck dumb and had to leave the scene very quickly.
Burly tattoo man had a voice that lied to me. There was no deep resonant tone to match his wide shoulders and log-like legs. He sounded like Mickey Mouse on speed!

After I had got over the shock it set me thinking about the blogworld. What do you all sound like?
I know what Debi sounds like because I have spent some hours in her company and I have exchanged a few phone calls with Skint and Maxine. They sound as I heard them in my head, more or less like their blog voices. But what about you? Would your voice entice me in, or send me running for hills?
And what about me? Am I a Marlene, a Minnie, a Marilyn or a Minx?

*Teletubbies - a children's programme designed to fuck up speech development.


pundy said...

Minx, you're definitely a Minnie. Definitely. And your definition of Teletubbies is the funniest thing I've read for ages, even if it may be a tad grammatically incorrect.

Anonymous said...

Glad you didn't find me a squeaky voiced old gabbler.

You -- definitely a cornish siren. none of this "minnie" lark.

Unknown said...

Thank you Maxine, siren eh? Heh heh!

Apologies Pundy, eyes is tiredy.

Suzan Abrams, email: said...

My voice would see you racing up the Everest, Minx!

Just look at your description of the gardener. And you saucy-watered...innocent little me!

Anonymous said...

I suppose you've seen this? Sad, but the most surprising thing I find about this story is the revelation that Tinky Winky was a he not a she. Maybe the handbag was an indication of inner turmoil.

(I have a low, 200-cigarillos-a-day type of voice, BTW, with refined northern overtones and underlying Welsh resonances).

Unknown said...

Now there's a thought. If anyone wanted to hear my voice, if you rang up vodafone ireland's careline and asked for me (when I deign to work there) you'd hear a mellow, humourous, lower spectrum coloured voice and believe that I'm much younger than I really am - that's if you can believe all that customers say to you ;)

Minx, I have always thought of you as having a lower register voice - probably sing along quite happily to baritone style singers...?

Anonymous said...

Has the Teletubbies def been corrected? Because I can't see any grammatical problem...

Re Tinky-Winky--didn't you know? T-W is, you know, gay, according to the Most Extremely Reverend Jerry Falwell. He and his followers came out with the torches and pitchforks to denounce poor Tink for leading America's children into the arms of Satan. Damned foreigners. Of course, it should have been obvious to all of us--there's the voice, and the triangle device on Tink's head--and we all know what that means.

Marie said...

Well, I've never been keen on my speaking voice. Actually, I hate it.

Has anyone noticed that when you record your voice and hear it back it never sounds the same?

Just think north London accent when you think of my voice, Minx.

Unknown said...

Do you remember that episode of Friends where Phoebe has a cold and thinks her voice is sexier ? That's me at the moment. Otherwise as a kid I did get called Janet Street Porter quite a lot and I don't think it was because of the big plastic glasses (and don't even go down the teeth road. I have great teeth).
Hey and Marie wee tip for not liking your voice. Speak another language, works for me. Obviously this may be a little difficult in North London, but you could try out an accent!

pundy said...

JTA - I believe there was an apostrophe out of place when I wrote that comment. Although I was slightly pissed at the time so I can't be sure. Whatever, I'm rather shamefaced at being so pedantic, so can we let the matter drop.

It's still a bloody good joke - even now when I'm sober.

Anonymous said...

Mr Pundy sir, it does appear as though the offending article has been put to rights. The Minx is a persistent offender and it is a complete mystery to us how she ever got this damn book published. All we can say is that her editors must have suffered violent eye palsies due to her chronic apostrophe abuse.
You, on the other hand Mr Pundy, are an appreciator of pendantic proportions and we therefore invite you to join our esteemed council. The FOG society will be in touch shortly. For more information find us at

Sharon J said...

I had the opposite experience once. A short skinny guy walked into my office once, opened his mouth and spoke in a real baritone voice. I had trouble keeping a straight face!

I think you'd just be Minx.

Hold on... just? Take that bit out.

Unknown said...

I used to have a problem with the sound of my voice but repeated exposure in the form of recording stories for visually impaired children knocked my hang-ups out of me.
Debi has a wicked voice, low, sexy with an infectious giggle. Skint has the mellow laid-back tones of South Wales and Maxine is, well, Maxine - soft vowels, a luxury voice!

What do I sound like? I dunno - ask the others!

Confucious Trevaskis said...

Weeell, think of velvet being stroked by a fluffy kitten, think of water running gently in a gladed brook, think of a maidens warm thigh being rubbed with sun lotion, on a hot tropical beach .........mmm, Im sorry what were we talking about again.....?

Kay Cooke said...

Oi thunk et wus Cleer who arskd us to wroite phonetically heow we speek ... thus us as close as oi cun git! :)

... and apparantly I speak with a bit of a lilt in my voice - so add that and there you have CB's kiwi acent! Beaut eh!

Debi said...

Wicked? Moi? Well, yes, but not in the way our Minx suggests.

I'm nasal and don't pwonounce my rs pwoperly. That's rs as in the letter R - not as in arse. I can pronounce my arse just fine.