Thursday, August 24, 2006

The boy done good

"I need a haircut"

"What at five-thirty in the morning?" I said, glancing at the clock and deciding I was definitely still asleep. I pulled the quilt over my head and tried to remember where I was in a particularly vivid dream.


Big Fecker hasn't got up this early for at least twelve years, it couldn't be him.

"MUM, please, I need a haircut"

Haircuts usually mean trying to impress a girl, a party of immense proportions or a very special ocas......oh yes....I is the day.

"Have you slept at all?" I asked, crawling from my bed.

"No, not really. Every time I fell asleep it woke me up again".

I looked at his worried face. It was time for a haircut.

"Do you think I'll get any of them" he said as I hacked at his mop (hacking is good btw, no tidy heads for BF).

There were no words, we had gone over and over his worries. His last year at school had been a rocky road, with beer and women burning a hole in his brain more than a Reichstag Fire. Regret had come later, along with two months of fighting to finish coursework and revising things that he didn't seem to have a clue about. It was a swinging pendulum, it could go either way.

I sat in the school car park, alternately praying to a handy God and singing a tuneless song to keep my face from collapsing. Like many kids Big Fecker has had to experience life in order to learn, I just hoped that he had learnt early enough!

I saw him running through the gates, waving the dreaded brown envelope in the air.

"MUM, I got 'em, I got the fucking lot."

Oh shit, now we've got to get through college!!


Anonymous said...

Ah - college - then uni - god help you

Unknown said...

Which one?

Thinking of setting up a shrine to the 'God of small 'A' levels' - do you think this will help?

Anonymous said...

whichever one takes your fancy - just make sure you have a spell against the demons of SAS you know what I mean it's all about balance . .

Susan said...

Congratulations to Big Fecker!

Nooy said...

ahh Uni.. the freedom to choose the yteacher that wil teach you somehting or find take a leap into the unknown.. he'll do fine.. trust me!
A level Gods? they must be indigenous to England!
And yes feel free to have a go at my art.. am curious to see what you pick and what it will say underneath it :) go wild!

Lee said...

Yes, congrats - and lovely writing!

(Blast, these word verifications are getting longer all the time, and I keep mistyping.)

Unknown said...

My spell broke a while ago Skint, think it must be genetics!

Thanks for the confirmation Meike, I will plunder you stocks! Small Gods are not indigenous to the UK btw. They come in useful when you have something to blame and there is no one else around!

And Lee, the length of the word ver's is entirely down to the 'Blogger Pixies'- you must have upset them!

Thanks all, BF is feeling very smug and by all accounts the beach party last night was 'mazin'.

Unknown said...

Forgot to say that Alper is home. Go and shake her her up!!

Marie said...

Well done, Big Fecker!

Anonymous said...

Many congrats to BF!

I tried to say this last night but Blogger closed the doors for some reason!

Have a ball and a haircut!

But many congratulations, BF did really well!

Unknown said...

Thank you again - on his behalf because he's too far up on cloud nine to notice much else at present!

And CFR,I'm going to have to start making lawsuit noises if Blogger continues this behaviour!

Unknown said...

I thought I left a comment here congratulating the Big Fecker - but blogger must have been having a fanny fit... never mind, consider it done now!

Unknown said...

Blogger done gone eat everything yesterday!

'Fanny fit' - haven't heard that for ages...making note.

Thanks - he is STILL partying!