Friday, July 21, 2006

Mcburgers R not me

I have tried to like McD's, really, really Mctried.

It would be Mceasier on my time if I did. Picking up the odd Mcmeal on the way home from Mcwork and throwing it on the table without a Mcknife or a Mcfork - oh Mcheaven!

The Feckers love Mcawful, and never pass up an opportunity to shout - "Make mine a Mcdouble with a chocolate Mcmilkshake".
Oh how I wish that the thin strip of Mcmeat would appeal, the sodden Mcbun, the wilting Mclettuce. But it Mcbloody never does, and Mcbloody never will!

The Feckers would live in the Mcplace if they could. Big Fecker even tried to get a Mcjob, handing out Mcfries and Mcmuffins to the hungry Mcrubbish consumers. He could wear a Mcuniform, look Mcsmart and make lots of Mcmoney to pay for his disgusting Mchabits, but he wasn't Mcbloody old enough!

But I know a Mcsecret, a horrible Mchideous Mcsecret.
I watched Morgan Spurlock and his 30 day Mcdiet, his failing Mcliver, his sallow Mcskin and his rising Mcblood pressure. He would have Mcfucking died if he'd kept it up.

Anyway, this is Mcworse, double Mcworse.
Hearsay or Mctruth, who knows but I tried to imagine the headlines if this ever got to the national Mcnewspapers.

"Mcspunk found in Mcburgers. Mcpolice are investigating but so far Mcdonor is unknown. Mcsamples are being collected Mcdaily!!"

9 comments:

Nooy said...

I kow your problem :) and I'm a veggy too! LOL.. I hope you never change your mind about the Macbloody food!
(although I must say an occasional french fry appeals, but living near Belgium that is easily solved)
very well written.. you had me doubled over with laughter!

Emily Nougat-Withershins said...

Oh, dear. Oh, dear oh, dear oh, dear.

Cheesm said...

Extra protein... what's the problem? At least there is something nutritious in their burgers. It must be a first I imagine.

Minx said...

Hi Meike, love the new art!!

Is that you Pundy? I recognise that 'oh dear'.

And Cheesy, I think we could all do without this particular relish!

Cailleach said...

In the words of my youngest female fecker, "Eeeeuuuooo!"

Is this an example of how you're not "loving it?" A McFunny.

skintwriter said...

you better be mccareful or you'll get mcsued - the only time I could near a mcshite is when I can't find a mcpublic toilet - their toilets are the mcnicest thing about them

Tillerman said...

Mcgrilled mchicken mcsandwiches aren't so terrible. And they even do mcsalads now. The problem is that on some freeways around here the only vendor in the rest stops is the mcburger people and so if you want a quick snack a mcscnack is the only alternative.

Minx said...

No, sorry, there is no persuading me now! Rather eat my own Mchand or failing that, have a kebab!

crimeficreader said...

Just got back from Harrogate, Minx. The Friday night late show, based on Simon Brett's radio programme had much of "Up the McDuff".
Thanks again for the laugh.
Best,
Crimefic