Tuesday, April 11, 2006

More Gooder Writing (part two)

Just popped around the writing blogs and there seems to be many people stuck mid sentence, perhaps you need some helpful hints....

The Publishing process

Important People

1. Author - he who writes

2. Significant other - he/she who provides beverage

3. Agent - he who thinks he knows best

4. Editor - he who thinks no one can write

5. Publisher - Just call me 'Mr God'

6. Reader - Mr God's offspring

Helpful writing terms

Draft - the first words that blow in with the wind, take no notice

Second draft - you should start to get the hang of this now

Third draft - hmm, no improvement then

Proposal - 'Will you marry me Mr God?'

Covering letter - a one chance life or death option, but can be
a) a place to tell Mr God how much you adore him
b) a place to tell Mr God all those darkly fascinating little hobbies

Submission - parting with the innocent baby lamb whilst wearing fetish gear

Proof reading - essential practice to see there are any words missing

Re-writes - it's complete crap, do it again and again and again (see third draft)

House style - a pompous need to stand out in the crowd

Manuscript (mss) - also known as Mailed Shit Sheets

Slush pile - a long term home for Mailed Shit Sheets

Synopsis - a highly treated, glossy tinned novel

Blurb - the pure essence of a writers soul

Dead li.....oops missed it!


Maxine Clarke said...

Very funny ;-)

Anonymous said...

Which reminds me... my SO hasn't provided my morning cup of Bovril yet. Can't be having him slacking like this. ~Sharon J

Unknown said...

How much caffeine does bovril have?